“1. concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s own; unselfish.”
Be a great man, and then you’ll be a great partner. Don’t fall for the lie that a woman will complete you and make you happy. Don’t believe the myth that your struggles and addictions will end when you a put a ring on it. If you’re single now, take some time and work on yourself. Do you want an amazing woman? Become an amazing man. Is there something in your life you’re not happy about? Take care of it before you bring another person on board.
Make a commitment today. Here are 10 daily declarations that will prepare you to be a good guy in a relationship.
1. I’m calm
Work on your anger issues. Are you easily provoked? How often do you get offended? Do you have emotional issues you might or might not be aware of? You can start now. Commit to being a man of peace. Practice or get help. What would an honorable man do? He takes care of conflict before it escalates. Emotions aren’t part of the equation.
2. I’m financially secure
Maybe it’s time to start waking up earlier, and working efficiently? How are you using your money? Do you want a woman or the beers you drank last night? If you make excuses about your circumstances, you’ll have nothing. But, if you get going and work through the hard times, you’ll become successful. If you want to be a good man, be a good provider.
3. I’m guided
There’s a really good guy underneath it all even if you believe you’ve done the worst of the worst. A good mentor will draw it out. Find someone older, someone you respect, and ask them if they’d be open to mentoring you or pointing you to someone else who would be good. If you want to be the best, learn from the best.
4. I’m committed
A nice guy is easy to find, but a faithful man is rare. Guys have commitment issues in general. If you’ve been in hook-up mode, do you think it’s easy to all of sudden become committed in a relationship? Did you know 57% of men have admitted to adultery in relationships at some point according to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy? Commit to commitment.
5. I do what’s right
What does integrity mean? When you’re talking metal, it’s the ability of metal to keep its properties under pressure. Does your ability to do what’s right change with pressure? Integrity is long-lasting. Your kids will receive the benefits. Yeah, that’s right. Think long-term.
6. I’m authentic
If you have to throw “game” to attract a girl, what happens when the game is over? All that’s left is a guy who isn’t what he sold himself to be. Why live a lie? If you’re a dork, embrace your inner dork and own it. Become a more authentic man. Authenticity will attract authenticity, and it’s the only way to have a successful relationship.
7. I control my hormones
I’ve heard some guy say they like to sleep with a girl early on in dating because it emotionally bonds. Exactly. Why would you become emotionally bonded with someone you really don’t know? If you want an amazing relationship, keep it in your pants. Research shows “sexual restraint was associated with better relationship outcomes.”
8. I have confidence
If you don’t have confidence in yourself, you won’t have confidence in the relationship or in her. Confidence is a learning curve. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it starts with taking risk. Start living outside your comfort zone, and you won’t be afraid anymore. You can start by asking a girl out. If you get rejected, it’s fine. Give yourself a pat on the back for trying, and try asking someone else.
9. I’m a gentleman
Have some manners. Practice makes perfect. Help someone in need, open the door, assist an old woman across the street, give up your seat, put your phone down, etc. If you’re only being a gentleman to girls you like, you’re going about it all wrong. Being a gentleman is a way of life. Having #goodguyswag is a lifestyle.
10. I’m accountable
In addition to a mentor, every good guy needs a group of friends who are going to sharpen him and take him next level. If you have a great group of friends, you won’t worry so much about being single either. Don’t have a group of friends? Easy. Get involved. Volunteer and serve, and you’ll be surrounded.
Once you’re set on your path, obstacles will come along. Be discerning. Don’t let a pretty little thang keep you from your focus. Every word she says will be like honey, but keep your standards high. Relationships are marathons, not sprints. Refer to The Wife List or The Girlfriend List for more.