How To Be The Type Of Person You Want To Meet
Mankind has evolved, and it’s continuing to evolve. We are a society of innovation. Technology doesn’t remain relevant for long, athletes continue to break records, car designs continue to improve, and processes have become more efficient.
With the constantly revolving door of what’s in and what’s out, and the fact all of us have experienced some form of rejection, we often wonder if we’re good enough.
Am I still relevant?
Will she like me?
Am I worthy?
Will someone take me “as is”?
Deep within we usually answer that question with a resounding “no.” Instead of being our authentic and genuine selves, we opt to project Me 2.0 or Me That’s Not Me At All.
You are important, relevant, and powerful, and the sooner you have confidence in yourself, the more attractive you will become. However, life is tough, and things happen to us or we make mistakes which lead us to shame and it makes us feel like we are freaks, abnormal, unwanted, unattractive, and useless.
When I was in high school, I hated myself. I was molested when I was in the fourth grade, and when I hit puberty, I realized what happened to me was not normal or ok. I came to believe that I was damaged goods and unloveable. To protect myself, I became closed off and alone, and decided what happened was too terrible to tell anyone.
Going through some old videos over Christmas recently, I found a video of myself during my senior year of high school just hanging out with friends, and if I’m honest, I’ll admit I looked at myself and was disgusted. This version of myself was bitter and caustic. I carried and emanated so much shame. I saw the insecurity in how I carried myself, my frame. The lack of confidence was so apparent, I wanted to turn away on my own self! I shut off the TV because I couldn’t bear it any longer.
Just think, I love myself, and if I couldn’t watch that teenage version of me on TV, how much more must people have been repelled by my presence? It wasn’t a matter of looks. I was a golden brown lifeguard with a six pack and stylish clothes. It’s simple. What you carry within gets projected out to everyone else.
So what do we do? Our typical solution is to gloss over everything on the outside and whitewash any noticeable blemish. Much like I did in high school, we cover up hurts with activities, clothes, people we can name drop and associate with, popularity, cars, and unhealthy relationships.
If you desire a soul mate, then be a soul mate. Recognize the fact you are a spiritual being. Intuition sees past a tidy exterior. A damaged soul will recognize, find, and be attracted to another damaged soul. But if you want to win the heart of a beautiful girl from the inside out, then you at least have to be a beautiful soul yourself.
Maybe what you need is a soul six-pack.
The quickest way to build a beautiful soul is to acknowledge your weaknesses, and recognize your own efforts have only served to make you weaker. This is going to require outside help. It may take the form of spiritual healing, counseling, rehab, therapy groups, or even someone as simple as a mentor or coach.
For me, healing began when I found spiritual healing in the form of Jesus. Later, I found healing by being transparent and sharing my story with others. However, that wasn’t enough. I pretty much did anything and everything to ready myself for my soul mate. I’ve had many mentors, and I’ve also spent considerable time with counselors and therapy groups.
I began to see myself as uncommon vs. weird, set apart vs. rejected, and chosen vs. useless. When my attitude about myself changed, everything else changed. I accepted myself rather than needing acceptance from others.