Wingwoman in Dating: What a Dude Can Learn from Beauty and the Beast

The other night my wife wanted to see Beauty and the Beast with some other couples. I discovered the most important part of the story: guys need help from friends, especially a wingwoman in dating.

wingwoman beauty and the beast

The Beast is a good man at heart, or so his friends say. He just lacks appearance and etiquette. Imprisoning a potential mate is usually a deal breaker, but the Beast clearly has the best friends a guy could ask for. They convince her to not escape from imprisonment and to have dinner with him.

While the clock and the candelabra do their best to impress Belle with the Beast, it’s Mrs. Potts, the wingwoman, who ultimately gains her trust. Together, the Beast’s friends take their gifts of hospitality to the grandest heights and put on an over-the-top dinner. But the Beast’s anger issues sends Belle running away after her curiosity leads her to explore the forbidden wing of the castle. The Beast rescues her from a pack of wolves, risking his own life. It is then she begins to see his true heart and the hurt from his childhood.

In case you’re wondering what a wingwoman is, we have to look at what a wingman is in aviation formation. The “Finger Four” is one formation type utilized by fighter jets. It consists of a flight leader, an element leader, and two wingmen. The leaders work in offensive unison, while the wingmen are in charge of the defensive efforts. It’s important to note that this is a team effort, not an individual one.

In my new book, Black Tie (available for pre-order) I discuss how women are attracted to mysterious men. A man isn’t mysterious if he brags about himself like Gaston in Beauty and the Beast. Let someone else do the bragging for you. It’s best to have your accomplishments and feats presented by a third party.

When I first began pursuing my wife, Kristen, I discovered she was going to an entrepreneurship gathering called Summit. One of my good friends, Kim Biddle (who started an amazing non-profit called Saving Innocence) was going to the same meeting. I told Kim I really liked Kristen and could use a little help. Just like Mrs. Potts, she worked her magic.

We really do get by with help from our friends. The Beast was humbled in a big way when the curse transformed him from a prince to a creature. His circumstances were hopeless. But he had a close group of friends around him. You need a group of friends who can believe for you when you don’t believe. An ancient proverb from Job 6:14 reads,

A despairing man should receive loyalty from his friends.”

The Beast had a number of factors working against him: his appearance, his anger issues, etiquette, and awkwardness. But his friends came together to help a friend in need. He wouldn’t have been able to break the spell alone. Through the talking candelabra, clock, and his wingwoman Mrs. Potts, the Beast won Belle’s heart, a girl way out of his league.

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One Response to Wingwoman in Dating: What a Dude Can Learn from Beauty and the Beast

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