10 Differences Between a Boy and a Man


10 differences between a boy and a man
10 Differences Between a Boy and a Man

“Men see marriage as a final step in a prolonged process of growing up,” according to David Popenoe, a behavioral scientist and professor of sociology at Rutgers.

But, let’s be honest–a lot of us don’t want to grow up.

“I don’t want ever to be a man,” said Peter Pan. “I want always to be a little boy and to have fun.”

The average age when a guy marries is now 27. I beat that by 10 years. I was having fun being a boy, well into my 30s.

You can be a boy if that’s what you are or what you choose to be. No shame. But, the man-boy becomes somewhat creepy when he’s age inappropriate. Some might call it manolescent.

Since the lines are blurred, let’s make them a bit more defined.

10 Differences Between a Boy and a Man

1. Boys brag. Men are humble.

Boys brag and are crude; they invented locker room talk.

Boys think bragging is impressive. In 10 Ways To Win A Girl’s Heart, I talk about showing off gone wrong.

“When did you graduate?”

“1998,” she said.

“Ah, that was the year I won Homecoming King,” I said. “Were you involved on campus?”

“I was in a sorority.”

“No way! I was in a fraternity. I won Greek God. Oh, and I was inducted into the Student Involvement Hall of Fame as well.”

“That’s nice,” she said. “Excuse me.” She got up and walked away.

2. Boys tell others they are men. Men quietly live it.

It seems everyone has their own definition of what it takes to be a man. Some say you have to be alpha, some say you have to grow a beard, and some say you’re a man based on how many notches you have on your bed.

A man is secure in his identity. He doesn’t have to strive or fulfill any requirements. He only has to be the man he’s created to be.

Boys try to fit into a mold, but men fit their surroundings around them to grow and become better men.

3. Boys make excuses. Men take responsibility.

The Oz Principle says,

The world’s societies suffer from the current cult of victimization because its subtle dogma holds that circumstances and other people prevent you from achieving your goals.

I’ve brimmed with pride. I’ve played the blame game and shirked responsibility, but those aren’t the ways of men. When is the last time you’ve heard a man blame his circumstances or complain?

Boys complain, but men take action.

boys complain, but men take action.

4. Boys ask to Netflix and Chill. Men ask her on a date.

One of my buddies recently asked me for some advice on this girl he really likes, but he doesn’t know if she really likes him.

“Have you asked her out on a date?”

“Well, kind of.”

“If you don’t know if you’ve taken her on a date, neither does she.”

5. Boys put up a facade. Men own their manhood.

Maybe you’ve got the money, the car, the right crowd of friends, and a six pack. That doesn’t make you a man. C. S. Lewis wrote,

When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.

6. Boys need to be ready. Men make a commitment.

What’s with all this talk about test driving? I know men who buy properties site unseen. They just make smart decisions.

Sometimes a smart decision is NO. Bottom line is, a man isn’t afraid to make a decision.

I spent many years weighing options, but for a man, it’s as simple as “Yes, I will” or “No, I won’t.”

7. Boys flake. Men show up.

In a big city like Los Angeles, it’s common for people to make several plans any given night and then choose the most attractive one in the moment. In other words, it’s tough to find reliable friends. This isn’t the way of the man. He makes one plan and shows up.

8. Boys look for instant gratification, but men are in it for the long haul.

Technology has made instantaneous the norm. Thank you Tinder.

But sometimes the best things are those that require more than a swipe. Some things are worth the wait.

A man is willing to put in the work. He trains and prepares like an athlete or a musician to get the ultimate prize.

A boy cares about one night, but a man looks further down the road.

a boy cares about one night

Boys party like it’s the last night of their lives, but a man considers the hangover and future regrets.

9. Boys live in fear. Men courageously live.

What if I get rejected?

I know a lot of guys who won’t try because they don’t want to fail.

Courage means to act with the heart. For men, fear won’t get in the way of a rooted conviction, no matter the cost.

10. Boys demand. Men serve.

I still have pride issues, and isn’t this typical for all of us?

In this selfie, self-serving culture, taking a moment to serve others reveals a surprising fulfillment.

Who follows a tyrant? A man leads others by considering others. Kindness is a trail people follow.

A differences between a boy and a man list on a site called isn’t going to make you a man. For me, it took a lot of time with mentors and respectful men, and I’m still working on it.

I finally decided to put my childish ways behind me. Being a boy is easy, but being a man takes work.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”

Girls, we need your help. Give us a reason to grow up.

According to ABC News, “Men don’t need to get married to get what they want these days — mainly sex — so they feel comfortable in putting off that long term commitment…”

Here are some differences between dating a girl and a woman.

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10 Responses to 10 Differences Between a Boy and a Man

  1. Richard February 18, 2016 at 7:57 pm #

    These are great understandings. Could you make one for the differences between a girl and a woman?

    • Kris Wolfe February 18, 2016 at 10:14 pm #

      Great idea Richard! I’ll get on that.

  2. Michelle Kasinec February 4, 2017 at 6:02 am #

    Very insightful! Thank you!

    • Kris Wolfe February 13, 2017 at 9:38 am #

      Thanks Michelle! I can’t believe it’s been a year since this was written!

  3. Antonio June 4, 2017 at 1:32 pm #

    this man only exist in a woman’s dream. Reality is most men are a mix that evolves over time

    • Kris Wolfe June 4, 2017 at 8:11 pm #

      While I agree no man is perfect, I definitely know men who have these attributes. But, yes, most men are a mix of these, and as long as a guy is working at improving, he’s a gentleman.


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