Family Divorces That Shaped Who I Am


My family loves me. 24 years later, through 5 divorces and new beginnings, my family has only grown. Some have dropped off, but other family has come in with open arms and big hearts. My family has evolved, and I love the family I have today so much. As tough as it has been at times, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I’ve seen the types of issues that cause friction in relationships. I know what it’s like to be stuck directly in the middle of a argument and not completely sure who’s side to take because you don’t want to hurt either person’s feelings. It’s helped me become independent and has built a foundation of values for my future family. I’m no relationship expert by any means, but there’s no way I would have learned anything about family if it wasn’t for going through these experiences. I imagine many can relate because divorces have become so prevalent, but this shouldn’t define what you’ve always wanted in life. It doesn’t mean you are predestined for broken relationships.

I’m the oldest of 7 other siblings. I graduated college in four years, have a successful job and currently living on my own enjoying everything someone in their mid 20’s would want. I’ve come to realize that relationships can’t be rushed and I let fate take its course for my future amazing wife I will one day meet. She should know before hand, that if it ever does end, it won’t end till I put every ounce of effort to keep the relationship alive. All relationships have their faults but successful relationships are composed of two individuals putting in equal effort.

I have an awesome support system and many of you may not. I’ve had those moments where I’m not sure who to turn to, unsure which family member to vent to. Talking to a professional counselor about everything has helped me a lot. Sadly we fall into taking sides or seeing situations a certain way when we don’t even realize it. These professionals are great with helping you see both perspectives. It takes a lot of pride to take that step, but I promise you won’t regret it after a few sessions.

Another thing that’s truly helped me has been my faith in God. I’m fine with admitting that I had those nights of tears rolling down my face or just felt totally numb to the situation. He gave me hope during nights when the unbelievable happened and when I couldn’t see hope.

Life isn’t perfect and I’ve come to accept no one is perfect, so my family never will be perfect either. As I look around, every family has its obstacles and issues; some more then others. Divorce is tough but you don’t have to let it affect your future relationships.

I try to look at the glass half full, and I’ve become a sort of refuge for my siblings and friends. I’ve gained wisdom, and I will impact someone else’s life because of my experiences. When close friends come to me asking what they should do, I’m able to be very honest with them and tell them about my experience and how I’ve handled them.

It’s easy to have pity parties because of the family situations we’ve gone through. When you realize that your experiences could help someone else and make them a stronger person, you can accept what has happened. Let those experiences drive you to change the status quo in your future marriage, family and help impact others.

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