Throughout high school, people always asked me, “So Andrew, you got a girlfriend?”
The answer was always No. But, because it’s been such a frequently asked question, I thought I’d address why. Maybe it’ll be good for you, too. Maybe you’ll learn something from a high school kid.
My dad told my brothers and I that we were to protect girls and guard their hearts.
I eventually came to realize that this meant I was to protect women from harm, and to guard their hearts and emotions- specifically from myself.
Since I took this very seriously, I talked to girls as little as possible for the longest time (also because I was completely terrified of the idea of talking to them.). It was pretty easy not talking to them, but made it REALLY uncomfortable whenever I was around my crush.
Forward to my freshman year of high school.
This was a big year for me, as I was moving from being homeschooled (no girls) to public high school (where freaking 95% are girls. Argh.).
As I was about to begin 9th grade, I made a commitment to not date in high school. That is, unless Jennifer Lawrence moved to town. This was pretty darn easy at first since I was 4’10” and 90 pounds, with no sense of style, charisma, social ability, etc. Terrible hair, too.
Slightly better- I could hold conversations with girls, even if they generally ended with the girls crying, running away, or slapping me due to my endless amount of semi-unintentional insults.
…was both better and worse- I actually had friends who were girls. It was also really scary, because for some odd reason, a couple of those girls found me attractive. Somehow I made it out of that year alive and still single. Whew.
I’ve discovered that I STILL have no idea how to converse with females. I’ve had some time to think about the choices I’ve made. There have been a lot of choices I’d change and things I’d do differently. I would take back some moments where I’ve accidentally hurt different girls, but my intentions have always remained the same: to protect women and guard their hearts.
The one choice I wouldn’t change is the decision I made to not date in high school.
I’ve seen the hurt that my friends and the kids around me have felt, the guilt over wrong decisions made, the heartbreak that almost inevitably comes hand-in-hand with high school dating. I’m not saying that dating in high school is wrong, but I do think that many high school relationships ARE wrong because they start with wrong motives.
Dating is a precursor to marriage, and marriage is for men and women. There are too many boys trying to act like men when they have no idea what it means to be a man, no idea how to protect women and to guard their hearts. Because of this, many relationships are built on a shaky foundation, and thus are destined to collapse. To conclude, not having dated in high school will never be on my list of regrets.