“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” Marcus Aurelius Who is the good guy? What defines a good guy? Is he a perfect guy? There have been many comments on 30 Characteristics of a Good Guy, and a lot of guys have wondered if they make the list because they don’t fulfill some of the characteristics. Well guess what? I would hate to measure myself to this list. The hallmark of a good guy is one who strives to become a better person and is never satisfied with mediocrity. The good guy doesn’t necessarily come from a great family background. He may have been the bad guy at one point and made some stupid mistakes. However, he’s ready to move on because he’s tired of experiencing the emptiness over and over again. People may never believe he’s a good guy because of a reputation, but being a good guy has nothing to do with what people think of you or your outside appearance.
Being a good guy is a way of life, and is not a set of rules. No two good guys will look alike because everyone is on a journey, and the only benchmark is where you’ve come from. The basis of this site is that a good guy seeks to better himself in his mind, his body, and his soul.
“What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Napoleon Hill
In 1937, Napoleon Hill wrote Think and Grow Rich. One of the techniques he describes for success was the Invisible Counselors Visualization where you imagine yourself before a group of counselors of your choosing. The people at your table could be from any time in history. Napoleon’s purpose was “to rebuild my own character so it would represent a composite of the characters of my imaginary counselors.” He would then ask these counselors for advice. Imaginary or real, your mind is influenced by the company you keep. Just like “iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another,” good guys shape good guys. Your friends will affect your mindset.
Being strong in the mind means clearing out any obstacles that are keeping you from your goals. For some, it might mean counseling; for others, it might be finding good mentors; or a mix of several things. A lot of guys believe all they need is to find the woman of their dreams to solve their problems, but start with yourself before bringing someone else onboard.
It’s interesting how much the mind affects the body. Did you realize 75-90% of all doctor’s office visits are from stress-related ailments and complaints? In fact, stress can manifest itself as physical pain.
How you treat your body can also affect your mind. Lack of sleep can cause anxiety too. So, as a good guy, you should be concerned how you treat your body. It affects every area of your life. Exercising not only helps in preventing disease, but it also has a significant effect on mental health. Have you ever seen a guy with a six-pack unhappy at the beach? Bottom line: building your body builds confidence.
“Science has shown that our brains run primarily on three things: oxygen, glucose, and relationships.” Henry Cloud
Let’s put religious institutions aside. I’ve received a lot of comments and emails from atheists who comes to this site, and you’re always welcome here. More than being a truth seeker, a good guy is a relationship seeker. A soul is the gateway to relationship and connection.
A good guy will not buy the lie he has to do everything on his own. Instead, he waves the white flag and admits he needs help. No wonder Alcoholics Anonymous has been churning out good guys since its inception in 1935.
If anything, the good guy is the Phoenix risen from the ashes. He’s a new creation, and being a new creation means casting off the ways of the previous life, and building new habits and behaviors that will make the world around him a better place.