What if you graduate from college and don’t have a girlfriend?
What if you get into your 30s and you’re still single?
What if it’s been ages since you’ve dated and you don’t know where to begin?
My hope had run out. I was 30 and found myself repeating some of the same words I had heard on the news, in songs, and from family and friends:
“Kris, after college, the chances of meeting a girl becomes extremely narrow.”
“Kris is 30 and single. I don’t think he’s gonna get married at this point.”
Maybe you feel the same way. Your situation isn’t hopeless. But, if you want to attract and keep a girl, you need to focus more on the long term than “insta” gratification or desperation. After all, if you initially attract a girl but don’t have confidence, integrity, or a strong-rooted identity, she won’t stick around for long.
So you’ve spent hours towards getting a good body in the gym, worked your butt off to make a ton of money, or networked like crazy and developed connections with the right people. Those are great things to have, but altogether they don’t make up basic ingredients in a sustainable relationship. You also need to work on the man within. You need to have full confidence in yourself and your abilities.
I finally accomplished what mattered: attracting a girl and keeping her.
Here’s what I did to marry Miss USA:
After reading and taking poor advice, I finally took careful notes from guys who had successful relationships, and did it right.
For instance, a lot of guys try to play cat and mouse games or drop subliminal messages. If you want a sustainable relationship, don’t try and build a relationship through “hanging out” or “Netflix and chill.”
I made a couple of mistakes when I first met Kristen. I tried to play it safe. I invited her to play beach volleyball with a group of guys and girls via a Facebook message after we met (as if she would want to show up in a bikini our first time hanging out!). And since I was told asking a girl out on a date in the very beginning is too aggressive and intimidating, I asked her if she wanted to go out and eat with a group of friends.
But, what I did do right remains important today. On our fifth date, I told her,
I want to be your man.
Why was this important? First of all, it demonstrated I had a high level of confidence, which is attractive to every girl. Secondly, it showed her I was intentional. Being with her was important and serious for me. Finally, these words conveyed she need not look further. I’d be the one and only man to take care of her and protect her.
The mark of a gentleman is a caring and thoughtful demeanor matched with a ferocious courageousness. This kind of man protects her not just physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. Want to learn more? Check out 10 Ways To Win A Girl’s Heart. Also, stop by the Facebook fan page or @goodguyswagger on Instagram.