Waiting Until Marriage: Premarital Abstinence with Purpose

When Kristen and I made the decision to wait until marriage, we thought we were making a rare, perhaps abnormal decision. Little did we know, a “waiting until marriage movement” was under way.

waiting until marriage

In 2015, fitness model John Prather wrote about how he waited for marriage. Then, singer Ciara revealed she and Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson were waiting until marriage for sex. In 2016, Hollywood producer DeVon Franklin and actress Meagan Good released their premarital abstinence story in The Wait:

The Wait is a conscious choice to pursue delayed gratification in the areas of life specifically related to relationships.”

I got a chance to sit down with DeVon after he spoke at Catalyst West in Irvine, CA. He discussed the misconception that one has to be a virgin in order to wait for marriage. You can make the decision to wait at any point, even if you’ve already had sex. In his words from our interview:

Stop. Heal. Think about what you’re doing. What do you really want from life, and are you living a life that is going to allow you to get it?”

In his 20s, with a budding career in Hollywood, DeVon made the decision to wait. When he met Meagan Good, he discovered she made the same decision.

Patience, sacrifice, and understanding were a few of the foundational benefits DeVon says they got from waiting until marriage. In The Wait, DeVon says,

“Celibacy is about the mind as much as it is about the body. When we think about celibacy, we focus on the physical need to have sex. But being celibate isn’t just about pushing down that hormonal need to engage in intercourse. It’s about owning how you feel, even when those horny feelings are coming on. It’s choosing to discipline the mind and think of the benefit you seek, something that is greater than the desire to give in.”

Waiting until marriage can provide more benefits than just a healthier foundation for a relationship. “Let me build a life discipline. Let me have a mindset of sacrifice,” DeVon says, “And when you apply discipline and sacrifice to anything you’re pursuing in life, you will be successful.”

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