There are two kinds of people: good people and genuine people.
I’m an extreme introvert. I hate social settings; parties, loud conversations and cities. Not because the venue isn’t to my taste, or because I don’t want to have a discussion. I hate these things because of the people. People are great; every book has been written by a person. Every disease that has been cured has been cured by a person. Despite this, I still fail to see the good in many people.
Logically there has to be some good in the general population. Sifting through people, observing them, interacting with them, and just generally getting to know them is difficult for me. Not everyone is worth energy, especially when that energy is limited as an introvert. Why spend hours priming a well only to get a few droplets of water, when there are wells that can produce ten times that of the first? There are good people out there, and there is nothing wrong with good people. But I’d like to take a moment to talk about genuine people.
Everyone has a different idea of what a genuine person is, but the general idea is that these people are great to be around. They may have a good sense of humor, great conversational skills and a relaxing air to them. My own interpretation of genuine people is as follows.
Genuine people are the ones you can talk to about anything, all night long.
Last summer I spent a week at a youth leadership camp with a friend. I arrived over an hour before anyone else. My friend and I had planned to room together, but we needed two other roommates.
We discovered the only other camper on site at the time was the child of one of the camp’s staff. We quickly began talking and decided to room together. When it came time to move our luggage into the room this camper’s mom met another, who introduced us to her son. Our circle was complete. It was a bit awkward at first. We had two rooms and a bathroom. One room had a couch and a built in desk, while the other had three beds. Our room was the only one without four beds so we had to have another one brought into the first room.
After a short time the day was about to begin, so the four of us went our separate ways. After a long first day and a good dinner we all met back at our room. We were all tired, so we showered and got ready for bed, but it would be hours before we actually tried to sleep. We talked until two in the morning. Anything was fair game; scientific theories, personal stories, theology.
It was a humid, summer, Michigan night. We all brought fans with us, but we elected to leave the window open. Because of this our conversation was hushed by the night watchmen who were patrolling the campus.
Genuine people are the people who are interesting. They make a real effort to get to know you, and they make it easy for you to do the same. They have a unique air around them. A combination of mystery, kindness and humor. Because of these attributes genuine people are some of the most interesting people to get to know.
Genuine people are the ones who are loyal.
Genuine people will be there to support you. They may not fight your battles for you, but they will be rooting for you your entire journey. If you ask for advice, they’ll give it. Over time friends may move or become distant, but should you need them, they’ll still be there for you. Genuine people know that everyone has bad days, and everyone has doubts. They help you think your way through trials, but in the end they let you make the decision.
Genuine people do not allow their social lives to be governed by selfish interests or biases. After they have accepted you, there is little you can do to make them your enemy. This mindset is a key component to any relationship, as a difference in opinion is nothing to ruin a friendship over.
Genuine people are the ones you look forward to being with.
Whether you’re getting ready for a trip, an event or even just a movie night, genuine people are the ones you long to be with. You’re always welcome, no matter the circumstances. You can decompress around genuine people. They are trust-worthy and have both a caring attitude and a kind soul. These traits combine to make the air tension free. You can share your thoughts, offer advice and communicate on an intimate level. You can be yourself, without having to worry about being judged.
Genuine people are the ones who understand, respect and love you the way you are.
People long to be accepted. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, man longs to be accepted. The only needs that come before this are security (shelter) and survival (food/water). It seems that every sitcom has at least one episode in which a character tries to fit into a group he or she does not really belong to. In these situations the character changes their approach in an attempt to be accepted. Common motifs include imitating characters in the group, or catering to every need of the group’s members. This is not what relationships should be based on. Getting to know a genuine person is straightforward and much more profitable than wasting time and energy to gain short-term acceptance. Genuine people do not discriminate. They respect everyone, and do not expect you to change yourself to please them.
Genuine people are the ones who aren’t afraid to share their opinions.
Sometimes genuine people come across as bold or energetic. This is because they are not afraid to share their true thoughts with you. Should it be needed, they are the ones you can rely on for constructive criticism. Acquaintances will tell you that you look fine, but genuine friends will tell you the truth: “Those pants really do make your butt look big.”
There is a fine line between offering constructive criticism to help someone see the error in their ways and doing it to humiliate them. While a gentleman should never go out of his way to speak these kinds of hurtful truths, a good balance of discipline and honesty is usually a good trait to have.
Genuine people are the ones who are confident.
Confident people are not born, they are created. Confidence is a learned attribute that can benefit both the confident person, and the people around them. Genuine people are often confident. Confident people continue living, even when faced with challenges. Genuine people will stand up for themselves, and others, which usually benefits everyone. Confident, genuine people don’t worry about what other people think. While it’s nice to be appreciated, confident people know not everyone’s opinion is worth listening to.
Genuine people are the ones who have integrity.
Due to traits such as honesty and confidence, genuine people have great integrity. Integrity is an extremely important attribute. People who can’t be trusted can’t be respected, and they definitely aren’t appreciated. People with integrity stand out and quickly gain respect from both their peers and their superiors. By striving to tell the truth, a genuine person seems more open, and easier to befriend, as there is a much smaller risk of being burned.
Integrity is something that this world could use more of. Men used to uphold their word and keep their promises. Integrity was the backbone of society. Today, handshakes only happen in formal settings or during job interviews. What changed? Integrity was thrown to the wind. Since then, our society has slowly deteriorated.
Genuine people are the ones who have influence.
Perhaps you’ve noticed; here at GoodGuySwag our tag line is “Integrity, Influence, and Confidence to be successful in all things.” As we have already discussed integrity and confidence, it seems only appropriate to discuss influence. People who have influence get a bad-rap. Many horrible people have used their influence for evil, while genuine people use influence for good (the Jedi dedicate themselves to using the force for good, against the evil Sith).
Influence is hard to hold. One must be trusted, and they must also be respected. Genuine people can influence friends for the better, subtlety suggesting changes or just leading by example. When other people realize that there’s something different about the way somebody acts, they’ll be impacted to some extent, even if it just means smiling more.
Genuine people are the most attractive people. They have the ability to stand up for themselves and others. Personality traits such as confidence, integrity and loyalty promote the building of strong, lasting relationships. Take charge of your life and live like a genuine person with integrity, influence, and confidence to be successful in all things.
These traits are not meant to be a step by step guide. This is a list of positive attributes; ingredients, if you will. Proportions and the preferences of the chef are key in the entire baking process. Remember, all apple pies are made from the same basic ingredients, but each is different.