So You Think I Am Gay?


Editor’s Note: No doubt, Will has written some of the most popular articles on this site, such as Crossfit with a Conservative Christian and a Porn Star. I have the privilege of knowing him personally, and he’s an inspiration when it comes to the journey he’s taken to make himself a better man. His transparency is bar none, which is the vision for, and I hope this encourages and inspires many men. 

If you met me, you’d probably think that I’m gay. Maybe it’s because of my voice or my mannerisms or maybe there’s something in my eyes that says “I’m dying to get into that guy’s pants.” Who knows. The point is you’d probably think I’m gay. And by the world’s standards you’d probably be right. But according to me, you’re wrong.

I’m attracted to guys, I don’t deny that. I’m actually attracted to girls too but no one ever believes that once they know I’m attracted to guys. Those people can suck it though because I’ve dated some gorgeous women and it’s no secret that I’m going to end up with a hot wife. But let’s get back to the guys first. So I’m attracted to guys but I make an effort not to act on it. I don’t want to. But if I’m going to talk about this, there are some things we need to address first:

The Double Standard

Girls can make out with other girls and no one bats an eye. If a guy makes out with another guy, he’s gay FOREVER. For example, Lindsay Lohan dated Samantha Ronson but most people don’t look at Lindsay as a lesbian. If Zac Efron did that, he’d be considered gay. To sum it up from a guy’s perspective, here’s a quote (that I’ve cleaned up) from a Woody Harrelson movie, Play It To The Bone:

If a man builds 1,000 bridges [but kisses one guy], they don’t call him a bridge builder…[they call him gay].

Being a Hypocrite vs. Being a Hater

Here’s my dilemma:

  • If I act on my attraction to guys, I’m a hypocrite because it goes against what I believe.
  • If I don’t act on my attraction to guys because of what I believe, I’m a hater and a homophobe.

I choose to be neither. I’ll give an example that tells exactly where I’m at in life right now. Over the last year, I’ve gotten my body in pretty good shape. Sometimes I crave cookie dough. Oh, how I love cookie dough! But I believe that eating cookie dough isn’t going to do anything good for my body, so I’m trying not to eat cookie dough. I don’t always succeed but for the most part, I’m off cookie dough.

I’m Not Perfect

I’ve made LOTS of mistakes and I’m going to continue making LOTS of mistakes. Sometimes I even look forward to those mistakes! That’s life. But when that happens, I’m not a bad person. It doesn’t mean that God loves me any less. The greatest lesson I’m learning these days is that I can’t be so hard on myself. Everyone makes bad decisions sometimes. It’s learning from them that matters. Over the last few months, I’ve implemented a two drink maximum if I’m going to be drinking. That has drastically reduced the amount of bad decisions I’ve made. It’s crazy how that third drink changes me!

Drinks or no drinks, I’m a happy non-gay man. I love my life! And I want people to know that people like me exist. So if you connect with my story at all, you’re not alone. There are tons of us! And we’re here to encourage you.

Will has just launched his own website. Go and check it out:

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6 Responses to So You Think I Am Gay?

  1. 1sttimecommenter September 10, 2014 at 10:01 am #

    It’d be great to see this article presented, but substitute the word straight for gay, “So you think I’m straight?” “Drinks or no drinks, I’m a happy non-straight man.” The way it is presented depicts someone desperately avoiding the gay label, as if it were something to be assiduously avoided.

  2. Jill Marquez September 10, 2014 at 5:36 pm #

    I love this. Thanks Will for being so open. We all struggle and I’m so glad you are open to sharing.


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