In an interview with Noah Sanders from Rora Valley Farms and author of Born Again Dirt: Farming to the Glory of God, he shared a piece of wisdom worth passing on: “Resources come from right relationships.” In this article, we’ll discuss these right relationships.
The context of the conversation was discussing taking care of your customers and the importance of the people in your daily life. Not only is it a phrase that eloquently passes off the tongue, but it’s an insightful look at how the world truly works and a powerful mindset for those who apply it.
If you are familiar with the web of life, the soil web, or any visual network of the many interconnected relationships that create an ecosystem, you can readily see the application of the statement.
Whatever resource you use, it had to have come from a relationship or connection between you and another. The computer I use was purchased with money earned from a relationship with my employer and myself. My ideas and conceptions are informed based on knowledge accumulated from the writer and reader relationship.
The Right Relationships
There is a reason for the qualifying right relationships. While you can derive resources from the wrong relationships, they aren’t ever worth having. We see evidence of this too often in the lives of friends or relatives who didn’t apply any filters to their lives, the friends who bring them into constant drama, the wreckage of needy and self-serving relationships.
It’s not for nothing that Solomon says in the Proverbs, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.”
It’s said that a person is the sum of their five best friends, if that’s true, consider your closest friends. What’s your value add up to?
Being picky about who’s in your life isn’t snobbish, it’s high value. If you maintain a standard for your behavior and the behavior of those who you accept as friends, you will find the total value of the group will increase. The impact of these relationships cannot be emphasized enough
While your parents set the stage for who you become, it’s your friends who influence the direction of the play. They will, for better or worse, guide and suggest as you walk through life. Be discrete in choosing your councilors and you’ll follow the wisdom of the wise, as George Washington said in his Rules of Civility, “Associate yourself with men of good quality, if you esteem your reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.”
Cast Your Bread
This isn’t merely a matter of taking from those around you, extracting resources like an adult child. We have all met someone who fits into this category, who lives to be served and is disgruntled when anyone denies them what they want. They are ungrateful for what they are given and wish to have more. For these, the circle of friends will continually shrink, until they are left alone wondering what happened.
If you wish to have sustainable, if not regenerative relationships it all starts with how much of yourself you are willing to give, to share what you have grown, learned, or built with those around you. “Pay it forward” is a phrase many of us have heard that describes the principle.
As an example, the guest who come on my Podcast are literally giving away their time. They are willing to share from the knowledge and experience they have gained with those listening. Even if they have something to promote, the don’t expect anything more than an opportunity to share their idea. It’s a way they have chosen to give back, to share what they’ve learned with the broader audience.
In our personal relationships this can take many forms. It could be something as simple as paying for your friends coffee, picking up the check for the table, or sending a thank you card after getting a gift. Depending on your profession this could involve slightly more complicated giving, if you’re mechanical you probably have a friend who is woefully not. As a mechanically disadvantaged person, when my friends are willing to share their time to help me with a car problem I appreciate it.
Use Your Gifts
There’s always something to offer, be it great skill or little, great or small talents. You are faced with the choice of sharing those gifts generously with others, pouring back into the relationships with your resources, or hoard your skills and wait for your relationships to fade away.
Some may feel as if they have nothing to share, nothing to bring to the table. Lacking in talents of any kind, how can they hope to share something with their network?
Be aware that as long as you can listen, you can give. The number one thing that most people in this world are looking for is a sympathetic listener. If you can halt your thoughts and motives for even a quarter hour to take the time to share in another’s thoughts or feelings, you’ll have earned yourself a friend for life.
Remember that we should always be endeavoring to build out our skill sets. You may not be capable at much now, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay that way. Look at the needs of people in your life and develop skills that compensate for them.
So let’s do a quick review, how can you apply Resources come from right relationships?
Your friends and family are a God given resource for your life. They are there to instruct and teach you the lessons He wants you to learn to become what He wants you to be. If resources come from the relationships in our lives, and the people in our lives are there by the will of God, you have every resource He wants you to have at this moment.
It is something sometimes hard to accept when you want more, or want something different. The fact yet remains that this is what He’s given you, this is what He wants you to work with. You’d be surprised how being faithful with what you have will lead to greater things. God has an interesting way of bringing into your life people you could have never believed you’d meet, simply because you were faithful with the people, and the resources, He gave you to start with.