Are Men Doing Enough to Protect Women?
Who are the three most important women in your life?
For me, it’s my wife, my mom, and my sister.
These three alone make me want to be a better man.
I’m going to make a confession. I read a women’s book. I’m a John Eldredge fan and since my wife loved Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by John and his wife Stasi so much, I decided to investigate that mystery myself in the spirit of becoming a better man.
While reading it, I found myself asking, “Do I always treat women with respect and honor? Am I doing enough to protect the women around me?”
In the beginning…
How can we treat and protect women better? John and Stasi suggest we can start by going back to the beginning.
Why did God place Woman in our midst?…We clearly haven’t learned its lessons–for if we had, men would treat women much, much differently…”
When Jerry Maguire said, “You complete me,” he spoke words that have echoed since the beginning of time: Man was never created to be alone. Even with everything at his fingertips, he felt incomplete. Today, that equates to every video game, every electronic, every luxury car…but still Adam felt something missing. So, God completed humanity when He created Eve. She was the “crown of creation.”
Eve was the epitome of God’s beauty.
Stasi points out, “Satan fell because of his beauty. Now his heart for revenge is to assault beauty.” So, Eve becomes his first target in the Garden when he slyly questions her.
Satan continues to target beauty today, and far more insidiously. It comes in the form of rape, genital mutilation, assault, and domestic abuse. This evil against women continues as long as men forget the reason Eve was created.
Evil thrives when good men look away, when good men feign ignorance, and when good men are passive.
A few months ago, signs and billboards filled Los Angeles streets with a great quote from Edmund Burke:
All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
In 10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart, I describe how Kristen wanted to be a princess as a young girl.
The prince rescues and protects the princess.
In Sleeping Beauty, the prince slays the gigantic reptile, the dragon. Since our marriage, most of my protecting comes through prayer and emotional protection. But, I train my body for the day I will physically stand for her. It makes me wonder,
What would our world be like if Adam stepped in while the reptile questioned Eve instead of being passive? What if he would have cut that reptile’s head off just like the Prince in Sleeping Beauty?
Would evil be allowed to prey on women today?
Women are vulnerable to evil, and that evil is often men. No matter how much training a woman does, men genetically have an advantage. We weigh more and can build more muscle. When it comes down to it, everything being equal, a guy will win a physical match. Women learn self defense because they fear this vulnerability, but it can never be the solution.
What’s the solution?
Detroit Lions linebacker Deandre Levi wonders why we aren’t “educating young men about the definition of consent and what constitutes rape? We’re essentially dealing with the problem by telling women to be more careful.” The answer to the problem shouldn’t lie on women’s shoulders.
Before we go blaming this hidden evil elsewhere, we have to look inward. We have to look in the mirror. Could the problem be me? Could the problem reside in us? When we talk about protection as a manhood standard, we might need to consider protecting women from our own selves.
The problem isn’t far away.
Consider these statistics from the Department of Justice:
- In 2010, 25% of the female victims of rape/sexual assault were victimized by strangers.
- 1 in 4 girls are sexually abused before the age of 18.
- In 2006 alone, 300,000 college women (5.2%) were raped (12% of rapes were reported to law enforcement).
- Only about 10% of perpetrators of child sexual abuse are strangers to the child.
It’s unbelievable to think that 75% of attacks on women come from men they know!
“We need men to understand that there are likely women close to them who have experienced an assault and never told a soul,” writes NFL player Deandre Levy.
We have to consider it’s highly possible one or more of the three most important women in our lives has endured an assault. The odds increase when we consider our friends and our coworkers.
We’ve got to look through a new lens. We need to treat all women with the same love and respect as we would treat the one’s we love.
We should remember humanity will never be complete without women.
With this mentality, we will protect.
Good guys take a stand. Good guys take action. Good guys protect.