There is no act in being a good guy. The good guy is tried and true. Through the good fight he has developed a true self, an authentic identity.
The alternative to chivalry is being a prick or passive. I recently heard a guy say he cheated on his girlfriend because he didn’t think he (not she) was good enough. A lot of stupid decisions are born out of shame or feeling unworthy. It’s in moments when you think you’re alone, you’re not good enough, you’re stressed, or feel like you don’t deserve any good thing, that guys end up living a string of regrets. But, what if there was a change in your mindset? What if you believed like a prince? What if you carried yourself with confidence, like you were born of royal blood?
What’s the first image you see when you hear the word “repent”? I immediately think of those guys with signs standing around the bar scene in my hometown who smugly basically saying “stop what you’re doing” and “you’re not good enough.” However, the real meaning of “repent” is more practical. The Greek word is metanoeo, meaning to “to change your mind…or to think differently.”
Ironically, those guys marching with signs may be producing an opposite effect of what they intend. People with low self-worth have a tendency towards depression which can lead to poor decision-making according to psychologist Dr. Sorensen. I wonder what would happen if these guys started carrying signs saying, “You have a big future waiting for you,” “You are influential,” or “You are strong?” Cheesy? Yeah, but when you really want to make a change in your life, you become aware of the little things affecting your mindset. The little nuances make a big difference.
Take a moment and ask yourself, “Why do I do things that I regret?” What’s the root cause?
What you think of yourself in your heart is what you are.
If you aren’t the man you want to be or if you can’t kick the habits or addictions terrorizing you, the only way to change is to repent, or change your mindset.
There are a few practical steps to changing your mindset.
- Meditate: on the promises in your life. Begin saving encouraging text messages, emails, and write down great things people have said about you. This past weekend, we were at a party and a girl told me she struggled with confidence, so she takes 20 minutes a day and says “confidence” over and over again. I was also reading this book called The Circle Maker, and the author described some of his friends who “identified words that were descriptive and prescriptive of their kids; then they had them framed to hang on the walls in their room.” Well guess what I’m doing when I get back to LA? Why can’t this work for adults too?
- Find new friends: if you’re trying to kick a habit, but you’re hanging out with a group that is constantly doing what you’re trying to quit, then get away from them. You want to be wise, noble, and successful? Hang with men who are wise, noble, and successful. You become what you surround yourself with.
- Get a mentor: or surround yourself with people who will edify, or build you stronger. Life is tough enough as it is. We all need a champion to push us toward our dreams.
Perhaps you want to leave a mark on this world through your life? Perhaps you have a dragon you want to kill within your life and rescue a princess? When guys begin to live through a royal mindset, we will be changed, and we will begin to desire to develop this mindset in others. We will begin to honor others because they are unique creations, and they deserve honor whether or not we agree with them.