After two years, I’m an emotionally free man. Previously, my mind was laser focused on gaining love. Today is now kind of a celebration. It wasn’t toxic love, or anything inherently bad. But, it was one sided love. I can say I’ve learned more than I thought I would.
How will you choose to love?
Like all love, mine had its fair share of pain, but for a period of time, I was really happy. When I found out she just wasn’t interested in what I had to offer, I took a back seat and evaluated everything.
I decided she wasn’t worth my time, my effort, or my love.
I find only two things I would’ve done differently: loved at a time when we were both ready for it and loved a different person altogether.
What one sided love taught me about love.
1. Love is all about giving.
Look, I’m almost 17, and relationships these days at my age are all about feeling good and getting something even better. That’s why teenage relationships work so well because both parties want something that the other person gives them. They only give out of their initial wanting for love. Perhaps it fills an insecurity, or makes them feel wanted and worthful, but it can lead to pain later down the road.
I wanted to give this girl genuine, whole hearted love. Sure, I did want to be loved in return, but that’s only human nature.
Love is truly all about giving.
2. The difference between mature and immature love.
Mature love gives, whereas immature love wants only to take and receive. A boy finds a love he take from, but a man creates love he can give to.
Love is all about giving. You find a person that you just can’t help but love, and they either take that love, or they give it back. And that makes all the difference.
But in the midst of giving my love, I was missing out on one thing.
3. Receiving love is just as important as giving it.
You‘re not supposed to be in a relationship only to give love.
And that’s where I was. I was giving, giving, and giving, but I wasn’t receiving much in return. I was willing to wait until the time was right, but now I see, regardless of age, she wasn’t going to give me anything back—and never will.
A working relationship has to be double sided, with both people invested in the other, giving their own love. It’s healthy to want love in return, especially if you’re pouring your heart into it, but getting love isn’t everything.
Love means giving your everything: time, energy, words, trust, hope, faith, and all the little things inbetween. In the midst of all your giving, make sure you’re receiving, but don’t be immature and only give a little and take all you can get.
Amoungst my one sided love, I learned three, very valuable lessons. 1. Love is all about giving. 2. Why you love sets apart immature and mature love, and 3. it‘s just as important to receive love, as it is to give. It’s your job to give, and the right person will give back.
Take a page from my book, and really look over your love-situation. Ask the tough questions and really dig deep for the answers. If you are straining on a one sided love situation, consider my three points. They could make all the difference.