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No Fap: Giving Up Porn and Masturbating

no fap giving up porn and masturbating

My porn addiction started in high school. I bought VHS tapes, and had a small collection by my senior year. There was no shame at that moment. At parties, I would pop Wild Nymphs into the VCR to shock all the girls for a good laugh. My best friend Robert and I could quote one of the hilarious phone sex ads and I can still recall the number this day.

After spending some time with my RUF leader Billy my freshman year of college, I made the decision to burn the collection, including Madonna’s SEX book. I felt a surge of relief afterwards. It was like I had been carrying a huge load on my back and I never even knew it!

During a study away program in the Virgin Islands, I was lonely, and found myself spending more and more time in the computer lab. One night, I sat down at a computer facing away from the window and found a porn site up on the screen. I began exploring the entire site for an hour. In just a span of a few weeks, that time became two hours and then became three…nightly. I could blame it on the slow dial-up connections at the end of the 90’s, but I’d later find high-speed internet only made it worse.

Porn became a perfect friend to deep-seated issues and wounds. It became a sick addiction, and like a drug addict, I was looking for that next high. Several hours of searching only yielded the typical; nothing could satiate the heightened expectations.

What started as something funny and entertaining in high school turned wicked. I’ve had several friends divorce because of porn. It hurt my relationships and soured my confidence in asking girls out because at any moment, if I ever felt defeat, porn was my relief.

Through counseling and mentors, my addiction has virtually (no pun intended) gone away. Keep in mind, I never sought help specifically for porn addiction, but I do believe healing root problems will eliminat the need.

I’m a work in progress. I don’t trust myself, and keep porn accountability software of every device.

Maybe you’re in the same boat? The good news is there are many resources available.

A “no fapping” trend has emerged in the past few years. In case you’re unfamiliar with the word “fapping,” it means masturbating. Studies have shown negative effects of porn, and this may be contributing to many young guys taking the “no fap” pledge. It’s a self-improvement movement about giving up masturbating for a time frame, knowing the negative consequences of porn, and improving relationships.

There’s a forum on Bodybuilding, a website and Reddit forum with over 159k “fapstronauts,” and no porn challenges just to name a few. Many of these men describe how no fapping has helped their lives:

Time savings wasn’t the only good effect. I’ve been able to sleep better, work longer, socialize more, etc. My confidence has soared. I can talk to people (especially women) without any fears or discomforts. I am completely comfortable in my own skin. Everyday I get up feeling happier and ready to conquer.

At a shabby college house known as “The Ranch,” my best bud Aaron and I made our own “no fap” pledge in 1997. Every night we’d check in and it became a contest. At one point, another one of our roommates joined in, and we collected a pot of money that would go to the winner. I didn’t win.

I’m super grateful I had friends around to push me to be a better man. If you don’t feel comfortable discussing this with anyone you know, the Reddit community and other online forums might be a great resource. The support in these communities are often positive and encouraging.

Be a master of your own body. Take your thoughts captive. If you want to pursue a girl with intention, be intentional with yourself first. Changing thought patterns and eliminating addictions will prepare you to be the perfect man for the perfect girl you will meet some day.

When your intentions are pure, so too will be your success. Charles F. Glassman

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3 Responses to No Fap: Giving Up Porn and Masturbating

  1. Scott July 6, 2015 at 7:44 pm #

    I work in the jail/prison system. I can tell you now after over a decade of daily interactions with convicted inmates that pornography has enslaved nearly 100% of them. Not all, but a vast majority. I speak with many of them individually on a one on one basis. Many believe that there are only two types of men in this world. Those who masturbate, and those who lie about it. It is sad to see how life has come to a point when so many think that porn and masturbating is OK and not damaging. It destroys relationships, tears apart families, and enslaves the individual. Lastly, I’d like to point out that pornography leads to bigger and worse things such as rape, cheating, adultery, and even murder. I know of a young man that killed a little girl because of his severe addiction to pornography. He watched her until his desires overcame his restraint. He used her, then killed her.

  2. Alex July 14, 2015 at 12:34 am #

    Kris,

    Might you suggest this excellent, Biblically-based resource in the future – http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/courses/way-of-purity/

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