Nice Guy vs Good Man: 8 Defining Differences

Nice guy vs good man

The Nice Guy–the dude who, no matter how kind or how hard he tries, always ends up in the friend zone. He’s the guy who usually has a lot of girl friends but can’t seem to get a girlfriend.

For those of us who try to be kind and go the extra mile for others, the nice guy’s consistent outcome is really discouraging. I often wonder, “Do girls only want jerks?” A lot of guys seem to have this question as well.

In the end, many women want a good man…not a nice guy. So, what are the differences?

Nice Guy vs Good Man: 8 Defining Differences

1. A nice guy’s kindness is an act, a facade he keeps for the purpose of making himself more appealing. But, a good man sees kindness as a lifestyle, and more importantly, it comes from his heart. When the walls are down, the good man is still a good man.

2. A nice guy lacks confidence, so he needs validation, usually from women. A good man is confident because he knows that he has value. He doesn’t need others to validate him.

3. A nice guy thinks he’s God’s gift to women. A good man believes women are a gift from God.

4. A nice guy is entitled and uses acts of kindness as a means to get something. A good man is kind solely because it’s the right thing to do. He will be kind and helpful whether he is recognized or not.

5. A nice guy handles rejection poorly, feeling that his good acts have been wasted on an “ungrateful” recipient. He may feel insulted by the fact he didn’t get the girl he “deserves.” A good man handles rejection with grace. He may feel hurt (nobody likes rejection), but he doesn’t give in to anger. He knows a kind act is never wasted, be it reciprocated or not.

6. A nice guy may tear a woman down in an attempt to elevate his pride. A good man will elevate a woman (or anyone else for that matter) simply because he has confidence and it’s the right thing to do.

7. A nice guy fears rejection. He gets stuck in the friend zone because he’s not bold enough to actually pursue a woman with strength and intention. A good man, however, is bold because he knows that rejection is the worst that can happen. He has the strength and confidence to handle rejection gracefully.

8. A nice guy is only worried about his reputation. A good man, however, is more concerned about his character.

In the end, the differences come down to authenticity and confidence. Is the kindness a facade or is it the core of the man? And is he timid and weak, or is he strong, confident, and bold?

12 Responses to Nice Guy vs Good Man: 8 Defining Differences

  1. Marian October 3, 2016 at 12:35 am #

    Nice said(I agree around 70%, which is very good compared to many BS information posted online, shown in movies and tv).

    My advices for “nice” and shy type of guys(helped me):
    1) Work on yourself to enjoy yourself
    2) Find your type of woman that wants the same as you do
    3) Enjoy the process of seducing her and showing her how much you want her, trying to make her feel attracted by you
    4) It’s a compliment that you wanna love her, both of you will feel wonderful. It’s no need to hide that, she has it’s own needs.

    • Marian October 3, 2016 at 5:40 pm #

      5) Practice

      A reason because beautiful women are confident is because they are constantly approached by men and the improve their behavior.

    • Kris Wolfe October 7, 2016 at 6:15 am #

      Thanks for your insight, Marian. I like your advice points!

  2. Charles Jase February 7, 2017 at 11:19 pm #

    Good article. Also nice guys often do things for their women out of fear that she may withhold approval, sex, attention, or whatever. A kind man has a higher degree of self love, which allows him to be more true to himself and more real with you. He will appreciate all of your beautiful womanly qualities and take every opportunity to make you smile because he admires you, which has caused his love for you to grow. But he will also call you out on b.s. when you are not being true to your best and true self. And he will accept the same from you if the situation is reversed. Nice guys will lose respect from their woman over time. Whereas a kind man will always be admired by the women and people in his life. Because his kindness is always real and deserved rather than given out of fear.

    • Kris Wolfe February 13, 2017 at 9:27 am #

      Thanks Charles! Great to hear from you, and I got a chance to head over to your blog. I look forward to reading some of your content!

  3. Nate perez January 20, 2018 at 2:26 am #

    Dam I’m a nice guy I always wander I am still single😂

    • Kris Wolfe January 21, 2018 at 9:41 pm #

      But now you can identity your previous mode of action and change it up!

  4. TIN March 9, 2018 at 10:49 am #

    This isn’t rocket science.

    Being nice is not detrimental to your attractiveness. Being impervious to rejection, a decent person who knows how to talk to people increases your chances.

  5. Sponge Bob June 18, 2018 at 6:55 pm #

    What about if you are more like the “good man” type you described but you still struggle with the dating game and you’re fed up of being stereotyped with the fake “nice guys”.

    • Kris Wolfe June 25, 2018 at 3:39 am #

      I believe authenticity will stand out with time. Keep fighting the good fight.


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