The Nice Guy–the dude who, no matter how kind or how hard he tries, always ends up in the friend zone. He’s the guy who usually has a lot of girl friends but can’t seem to get a girlfriend.
For those of us who try to be kind and go the extra mile for others, the nice guy’s consistent outcome is really discouraging. I often wonder, “Do girls only want jerks?” A lot of guys seem to have this question as well.
In the end, many women want a good man…not a nice guy. So, what are the differences?
Nice Guy vs Good Man: 8 Defining Differences
1. A nice guy’s kindness is an act, a facade he keeps for the purpose of making himself more appealing. But, a good man sees kindness as a lifestyle, and more importantly, it comes from his heart. When the walls are down, the good man is still a good man.
2. A nice guy lacks confidence, so he needs validation, usually from women. A good man is confident because he knows that he has value. He doesn’t need others to validate him.
3. A nice guy thinks he’s God’s gift to women. A good man believes women are a gift from God.
4. A nice guy is entitled and uses acts of kindness as a means to get something. A good man is kind solely because it’s the right thing to do. He will be kind and helpful whether he is recognized or not.
5. A nice guy handles rejection poorly, feeling that his good acts have been wasted on an “ungrateful” recipient. He may feel insulted by the fact he didn’t get the girl he “deserves.” A good man handles rejection with grace. He may feel hurt (nobody likes rejection), but he doesn’t give in to anger. He knows a kind act is never wasted, be it reciprocated or not.
6. A nice guy may tear a woman down in an attempt to elevate his pride. A good man will elevate a woman (or anyone else for that matter) simply because he has confidence and it’s the right thing to do.
7. A nice guy fears rejection. He gets stuck in the friend zone because he’s not bold enough to actually pursue a woman with strength and intention. A good man, however, is bold because he knows that rejection is the worst that can happen. He has the strength and confidence to handle rejection gracefully.
8. A nice guy is only worried about his reputation. A good man, however, is more concerned about his character.
In the end, the differences come down to authenticity and confidence. Is the kindness a facade or is it the core of the man? And is he timid and weak, or is he strong, confident, and bold?