9 Texting Tips for the Modern Gentleman
As texting becomes our primary form of communication, the art of texting, for better or worse, has become a crucial part of dating. It’s now highly possible that your second (or even first) impression is dictated by a conversation through text.
Given texting importance, here are several texting tips to help get you through the introduction/pursuing phase of a relationship:
Emojis are kind of a big deal now. The “face with tears of joy” emoji was announced as the “Word of the Year” by the Oxford Dictionary in 2015.
Emojis have become a new form of communication. They can be used to convey emotion through otherwise dry texts, making sure the reader interprets the message the way you intended.
Word of caution: hold off using emojis as a replacement for words or inserting them after every other word. It’s cheesy and, while it might fly when you’re more comfortable in a relationship, it isn’t the best way to make an impression in the beginning.
Double text: you hit her up and she doesn’t reply after a while, so you text again.
Don’t make yourself look desperate by texting her again five minutes later if she doesn’t reply. We all have lives, some busier than others. Maybe she’s doing dishes, hanging out with friends, etc.
During the initial dating phase, it’s generally a good rule to stay away from texting back multiple times in a short duration.
Good grammar is sexy (back me up here ladies). Your texts definitely don’t need to read like a research paper. “Therefore I conclude,” may sound ridiculous in a text, but use full words and sentences and give actual responses, especially if the girl is asking questions.
If a girl asks questions, it means she’s interested, so feed into that interest with good and well crafted answers. We have full keyboards on our phones now, so no longer is it of significant inconvenience to fully type out your sentence.
While some girls might find it weird if you put a period after every sentence (I’ve been teased about this, but hey, I’m a writer and habits die hard), responding with phrases like “K” can be a turn off, even for guys.
If you ever have to apologize, please just type “sorry” instead of “srry.” Yes, I have a friend who does that.
Texting is convenient, but nothing beats the depth and connection you can get in a face-to-face conversation. It’s important to know what to put in your texts, but it’s also important to know when to text and when to meet.
For those with social anxiety, texting may be your preferred method of communication. As an extrovert, I will always encourage face to face as being the best way to communicate. So much more can be picked up on, from facial expressions to tone of voice and everything in between.
People have different philosophies regarding when is the appropriate amount of time to wait before texting back. I text back fast with nearly everyone, so I’m no different when texting a girl I’m interested in. That said, it might be best if you simply stick to your previous habits (what your comfortable doing).
If you text back fast all the time, why change with the girl you like? If you usually take forever to reply, then maybe wait a little bit before texting back. However, if you’re in an actual conversation through text, then don’t stop the flow. Be yourself.
Enthusiasm is something that’s important in a relationship, especially at the beginning of it. But, a fine line exists between enthusiasm and desperation. Tread that line carefully. Adding exclamation points at the end of a sentence can convey interest, but it’s probably best not to leave a mile long string of them.
If you’re just getting to know a girl and are already having confrontational conversations with her via text, that might be a red flag. But, if for some reason confrontation does arise (with anyone for that matter), save it for a face-to-face conversation. It’ll be easier to interpret what the other person means and avoid misunderstanding. Plus it’s more difficult to just leave the conversation.
When Not to Text
Certain situations exist where texting just shouldn’t be used. If you’re gonna ask your girl out on a date, it’s best to arrange it in person. If you have some important news, calling can be a better way of communicating. Use common sense and decency to figure out what are and aren’t appropriate things to text about. Of course, there are some exceptions when you have no other options, but those are likely few and far between…and don’t ghost her.
As this is a gentlemen’s blog this piece of advice shouldn’t be shocking, but it’s worth mentioning. In all that you text, be polite and respectful. It’ll go a long way.
These texting tips are by no means a guarantee that you’ll get that girl you’re interested in. But hopefully they will prevent you from making any huge blunders that you will regret in the future.