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How to Pray For Your Future Wife

Note from the Editor: Because of his profession in the public eye, my good friend has chosen to write this anonymously. However, the insight in this article is incredible, and something all men can learn from. Enjoy.

good-guy-swag-how-to-pray-for-your-future-wifeThere are so many blogs and articles out there geared toward girls and women on praying for their future spouses, but almost none geared specifically toward men… so we thought we’d help fill that gap a bit and offer a little advice for single guys on how to pray for your future wife as you navigate the single life.

Being a single guy in Los Angeles, I’ve had my fair share of relationship highs and lows over the years. Beautiful women are abundant in this place, probably more so than any other city in the world. They’re at every street corner, every coffee shop, every bar, and of course… in every casting office. Makes me think of a famous line written by the 18th century English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, which says: “Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.

This city has an overabundance of beautiful women, but that doesn’t mean that most of them are suitable for you to bring home and introduce to your Mama. In LA, and in many other places, it can seem to be a daunting task to not only find a great gal, but one who also happens to be a great fit for you as well.  So… how do we solve this dilemma? How do we find the right woman for us?

God Can Help You Find Your Future Wife

Through my dating and relationship experiences, I’ve realized one thing: I’m never going to find the right woman for me if I take on this seemingly monumental task on my own. After my last relationship ended, leaving my mind and heart wounded, I realized I needed to change my entire approach. Sure, I’ve prayed many times for my future wife over the years, even prayed for attributes that I hoped she would have, what she might be like, etc etc… but as I’ve been growing deeper into my faith this year especially, I realized that my approach to these prayers needed a shift.

Shifting Your Prayer Focus

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In the book of Genesis, God tells us “It is not good for man to be alone.” Proverbs also tells us “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” But more importantly, Matthew 6:33 tells us to “Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Admittedly, this last verse is the one that I had not been focusing on so much these past few years. Like many of us single men, I’ve been focusing on seeking after what I thought my heart wanted and burned a lot of energy by looking all over the place to try and find the right woman for me. I think like many of us, I haven’t fully trusted God or His timing. I’ve tried to rush Him along. I’ve tried to help him out along the way, and I haven’t always made Him the focus of where I chose to seek.

Praying For The Desires Of Your Heart

Psalm 37:4 says “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

We can rest in knowing that He put those desires for a wife on our hearts, so this is indeed something good that He wants for us. The root of the word “desire” actually means “of the Father”, which tells us the root of our healthy desires come from our Heavenly Father. God knows what I need, and what you need; better than we even know for ourselves. We should have peace in knowing that whatever great plan we think we have cooked up for our lives, God has something (and someone) even better for us if we just trust in Him and seek Him first.

Seeking God First

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As you begin to pray for your future wife, choose to commit your life to seeking God first, and you will start to feel the pressure and the burden of looking for the right girl lift off your shoulders. He will bring His perfect desire to pass in your life. As long as your eyes are on Him first, He won’t steer you in the wrong direction. The more you focus on Him, the more obvious His will for you and your future wife will become. He’ll give you the discernment so that you’ll know it when you meet her. I’ve prayed and asked Him to take away the burden of trying to find the right girl on my own, and have asked Him to bring the right woman across my path in His timing. Since I’ve given that task back to Him, life has just felt a lot brighter, and quite frankly, it’s been a lot more fun too. I’ve also noticed that the more I seek Him and take delight in Him, I’ve begun to forget that I’m actually single. I used to think about my singleness and loneliness quite often (which is probably what sent me chasing after the wrong girls to begin with), but ever since I started genuinely focusing on seeking Him, I’ve found that I’m really enjoying this “bro time” with just God and I until He brings the right woman for me.

Pray For God’s Perfect Timing

As single men, we will one day be married and eventually have children to raise, which means that we will have lots of new responsibilities and our time will be focused heavily on our families. So while you have the time now, take advantage of this moment to get to know God more, and I imagine you will experience a new found happiness and peace just like I have been experiencing. So as you pray for your soon-to-be wife to come into your life, just pray for God’s perfect will and timing in this and I guarantee He won’t let you down. I’m believing in this for my own life, and I fully expect God to deliver on His promises for me, as He will for you.

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44 Responses to How to Pray For Your Future Wife

  1. Renee Watroba August 29, 2013 at 3:49 pm #

    Kris… you are so gifted by the spirit. Jesus is in your heart and thank you for blessing us with your knowledge and gift of helping people get their blessings. I adore you ..

  2. Kate S. August 29, 2013 at 7:28 pm #

    To the Anonymous Friend and Kris,
    I appreciate your thoughtfulness in sharing a post like this. It’s a pleasant, fresh of breath air to read that single guys are thinking this way. It gives me hope for all my girlfriends and can honestly say to them, “There are still great fish in sea. I didn’t catch the last one.”

    • wisdom February 13, 2014 at 4:00 pm #

      Looking for girl

    • CEDRIC October 2, 2015 at 7:29 am #

      pls. leave a message then i reply your message

  3. Amber October 19, 2013 at 9:04 pm #

    Amazing blog.
    that’s right, the comes right. living the single life and waiting for the right. trust in God, is important. the relationship with the ex didn’t work? OK to mourn and look forward again. That was not the right thing, God has something better / larger to you.

  4. jayy November 1, 2013 at 6:05 am #

    This was truly wonderful message 🙂

    • Kris Wolfe November 1, 2013 at 7:31 am #

      Thanks Jayy! Our friend did a great job on this.

  5. Jack November 5, 2013 at 10:25 pm #

    amen, I believe in God,
    for years ago we broke. They had finished it, but we remained friends.
    We have often written or telephoned , but one day it just clicked. in my head.
    why all the delay?
    it was never to be like in the beginning, was before broke.
    my friends told me I need a clean break, no phone calls or write more.
    I knew that would be the best, but it did still hurt.
    but I have done it and believed in God,
    exactly what do you do now.

    I Thought to myself, why should I again received this relationship even though she left me? this step has gone and made ​​statements? whether angry or sad. I would not have gone this step.

    So I made a clear break. which was a bit hard because my friends were friends with her, that there was a few problems.but it worked.

    One year and several months after clear break, I found my girlfriend today. and what shall I say? it is the best thing that could happen to me. I arrived and that’s a wonderful feeling.

    Today I say to every one of my friends when they broke, it has a reason WHY it did not work. and my predecessor as already said
    >’God has something bigger to you before <

    Enjoy your Bro Time, and good luck.

  6. Jack November 5, 2013 at 10:34 pm #

    and like you said, at some point we all have wives and children.
    the correct time point, God decides. and I believed.
    And my happiness now found, you are doing exactly the right thing.

  7. Oscar Camejo November 6, 2013 at 9:39 pm #

    Great article. Needed.

  8. Jan November 10, 2013 at 4:25 pm #

    wonderful message

  9. Louise S January 21, 2014 at 9:16 pm #

    Beautiful message here. Thanks & God bless!

  10. Jonathan July 6, 2014 at 8:44 am #

    This is Awesome. Gods choice is better, but do you (or anyone) know that it is a choice we will like even more? I am afraid better as in trials, not blessings when I hear it’s “his way.”

    And does God just magically bring someone to us? Or do we go out expecting to find her and keep looking? Because I can’t see either working without the other

  11. Austin Gillis August 7, 2015 at 7:41 pm #

    This article was perfectly timed:

    So I’ve been an agnostic atheist for the better part of a year, as a former christian I was unable to reconcile much of what the bible taught and the evidence present in the obvservable universe, and as such, I completely abandoned God and my faith.

    For the past six months or so, I’ve been building a long distance relationship with a girl who I am madly in love with, we rarely ever get to see each other, but every time we do it’s a constant high, and the amazing thing is she has always challenged me and caused me to grow and we have been able to add a lot of value to each others lives.

    This week she came down to visit some family and we spent a lot of time together, and during it all, we both came to the conclusion separately that we need to take some time away from a relationship to really focus on ourselves, for me, it’s squaring away my faith and really getting that foundation beneath my feet before I bring someone else into my life, for her it’s facing some of the demons she has had in her past with family and betrayals.

    Needless to say, when you love someone and the relationship comes to a point where it is uncertain that you will ever even see each other again, it can be a little heart breaking and frustrating, but today I kinda made the decision to give the whole God thing a shot and really try and take some of these issues I have on faith and pursue him first.

    It’s hard, it sucks and honestly I’m more than a little depressed right now, but it’s stuff like this that reminds me to focus on the promise not the situation.

    • Kris Wolfe August 13, 2015 at 3:48 pm #

      Austin: Brother! Thank you so much for sharing…that takes guts, and I’m proud of you for realizing all of these things at such a young age too. You’ve got an amazing life ahead of you my friend, and I hope to hear about each mountain top you reach.

      I went through similar situations and I’d just encourage you to learn these valuable lessons along the way; the most disappointing times being the best lessons. You can never go wrong by taking some time and focusing on God. Hope to hear from you soon!

  12. Juan A. September 21, 2015 at 6:19 am #

    It’s amazing how God works! I have been talking to a young lady for six months now. What we have going has gone nowhere, and lead me to complete frustration. She confessed that she does not know what she wants to do with her life and feels lost. She is not happy with her current situation. I want to rescue her. She has gotten very distant, and has lost interest, but still chooses to keep me around. This is unhealthy for me.

    I went to church today to ask God why he didn’t answer my prayer of last November. “For the new year (2015) bring me a wife dear God I have a lot of love to give”. Nope, no cigar! Today, I got my answer. I asked Him why He didn’t comply to my request, and today during mass…I’m not sure if it was the priest or God talking directly to me, but I heard this: “If you asked God for something, and it was not granted, it’s because you walked away from Him and what you asked for”. I could not believe what I was listening to!!! I sinned throughout my request and was on the verge of becoming an alcoholic. Do I seriously expect God to give me what I’ve asked for? Not at all.

    Now, I would like to thank this young lady, for drawing me to God again. Well, maybe later under God’s will.

    Yes, I’m stubborn, and you can ask the young lady, but I will ask him again to bring me a wife. I know what he wants in return. I will serve Him the best I can. I will pray to not fall in to temptation. I will pray for her, and hope He helps her find direction in her life. I will prove how loyal I can be to Him with or without her. I will be happy. Thank you God for letting me know you are still there for me. I will leave everything at your will, not mine. I will lay my life in your hands.

  13. Kearney (not my real name) October 4, 2015 at 5:28 pm #

    I have been single since 1997 cause of trust issues

    I hate being single at times.

    How would one pray for a spouse if they have emotional scars and trust issues they have never truly gone away

  14. Ray October 20, 2015 at 10:53 am #

    Thank you for sharing. Reading this article gave me much hope and faith to believe that God can and will provide a loving companion someday in His perfect timing!

  15. Alex January 9, 2016 at 11:34 pm #

    I personally I believe on that

  16. Dave January 15, 2016 at 10:14 am #

    I am a man, a mans man, a German American man, I am 29 years old, blonde blu-eyed, stout good looking guy. I am a virgin. My heart was broken, she wanted intimacy, I told her that I was saving that for my wife. We broke up, it was hard, but, I thank God that I was true to my faith. I trust God with my life, and with my future wife. To the ladies out there, there are good guys in this world. Trust God , pray for your man, and God will bring him to you.
    I’m prying for you my darling, be strong, and stay close to Jesus, and God will bring us together.

    • Darrell September 15, 2016 at 8:05 pm #

      Good for you, Dave! The Lord give you peace and strength in waiting. I’m still a virgin at 43 and waiting and praying for my future wife. Be encouraged.

  17. Lewis January 24, 2016 at 4:09 am #

    I find it helpful ! I also have rushed asking for a good woman first instead of seeking Him. Today, I seek Him first, and trust Him for his timing on finding me a woman He wants me to have.

  18. AnHonestTrueAnswer February 29, 2016 at 11:33 am #

    It is very sad how many women have changed over the years since the good old days when the good old fashioned women were around that certainly made a much better wife than today. Now we have so many Career minded women that have really become so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, and very Money hungry today, which certainly makes it very difficult for many of us Good men praying for a wife since the women of today are certainly Nothing like the women of the past were that were so much more Nicer and a lot more Easier to meet too. Many women nowadays expect the Best and Nothing Less since many of them these days are looking for a Rich Man these days, and they will Never go with a man that makes much Less Money than they do. God forbid, if they ever did. Very tough for many of us Good single men to find a Good woman these days, and it is just too bad that many of us men Weren’t born at a much Earlier time which it certainly would’ve made all the difference in the world for many of us since we could’ve been all settled down by now with our own Good wife and family. Peace.

  19. DAVINNED March 7, 2016 at 4:45 am #

    I Do love this just because it really shows and opens the blind boys’ eyes form identifying the beautiful with the courage they are able to speak to them, though at times rebuked and rejected. Just ugandan young man. God new every one before they where concieved the womb and has plans for u to mean ribs of the owner where set be bless( jeremiah1)

  20. Ray June 5, 2016 at 10:29 pm #

    This is one of the best, most concisely articles written in this subject, Thank You!

  21. Jeff July 20, 2016 at 11:21 pm #

    for many years I had prayed for a Godly spouse, even on so many prayer request .Put my full faith and trust in the lord, always tried to live a life straight and narrow. No drugs don’t smoke,
    don’t drink,never and will never cheat on a women.always wanted to get married and raise a
    godly famly. no churches around were I live don’t have a minstry for singles , now that I am getting older feel the lord has abandon me . never had any real fellowship in any church ,one time when I first became a christian years ago at 35 was told in so many words your to old.
    last church I left was told by a ass pastor you derserve Hell.

    • Kris Wolfe July 22, 2016 at 6:47 pm #

      Jeff, I can relate 100% to how you feel. At one point, I just lost faith that I would ever be married. I don’t know when or how, but keep putting your faith in God. It’s the best investment you can make.

  22. Ricky August 13, 2016 at 6:21 am #

    Great article. Just what I needed now. “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” God is Simply Amazing!!!

  23. Shan February 18, 2017 at 1:48 am #

    Hey i been in love with this woman for five year until she just decide to break up with me,my entire life just fell apart.(am writting this and tears just keep gushing out of my eyes)but for some strange reason am hearing this little voice within me saying saying will be fine dont worry but as human i cant help not to worry,i have never love a woman like that in my life i almost lost it but yahweh stood with me all the way and now am recovering am starting to realize that is not mine will but his will be done praise yah he see what i cant and understand what i dont.felas trust Yah and he will grant you your heart desire trust him.am still and am fine it can get lonely at times but ok doh,i know he will send me a lovely woman one day praise Yahweh

    • Kris Wolfe February 20, 2017 at 7:47 pm #

      Thank you for being transparent and vulnerable on this forum, Shan. I’m praying for you. And, I do believe in God’s promises. He says, “Seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, and all of these things will be added to you.”

  24. The Truth Is March 14, 2017 at 6:58 pm #

    Praying for a good wife for many of us good men is very difficult these days unfortunately since the good old fashioned women are all taken and gone by now.

    • Kris Wolfe March 21, 2017 at 7:08 pm #

      I don’t believe this is true. A good woman has always been a rare find. You can find these sentiments even within biblical texts.

  25. Jorge Fuentes June 16, 2017 at 3:18 am #

    Beautiful. She will come, I truly hope. And will truly believe Him for her.

    • Kris Wolfe June 19, 2017 at 4:13 pm #

      Amen. I’ll believe with you.

      • Lungelo June 26, 2017 at 8:44 pm #

        Kris I like your faith, keep on praying for us all and I strongly believe God will satisfy our needs.

        Thanks

  26. Anna July 10, 2017 at 2:53 am #

    I hope this short testimony will encourage you, guys. I have one of my high school good male friends who used to be a player, the worst type, your basic well-assumed manwhore (pardon my French). Then, when he was around 22-23, he met the Lord and decided to turn his life around. For almost 13 years old, he remained celibate and kept praying for God to send him a God-fearing woman. It wasn’t easy: some of his friends were mocking him behind his back, he even confessed that sometimes he just wanted to pick up his phone and call one of the church girls who were interested in him just to “release himself”. My friend had no qualms asking the old ladies of his church to pray for him so that he would resist sexual temptation.

    At 36, he got married to one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. She truly has an heart for the Lord on top of everything. I used to think that gorgeous people don’t care for God related things but my friend’s wife proved me wrong. They’ve been married for 4 years now and had a baby less than a month ago.

    Yep, I witnessed how God rewarded a former player who decided to trust Him with the search for his wife.

    “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” Eph 3:20

  27. Josh July 18, 2017 at 7:08 pm #

    What a great article Kris! I very much enjoyed reading it. Thank you! I believe I was taught this notion by someone some time ago, but I have gotten all caught up just trying to find the woman of my dreams or close to it or by praying for one. However, I wouldn’t put God first and “take delight in Him”. I have been struggling to find the woman of my dreams or close to it. I have dated over the years (long term and short term relationships) and it just always seems that the ones that I really want, I can’t have….I’ll date them briefly and they’ll bail on me way too soon for whatever dumb irrational reason. I’m a great guy and many girls have told me that I’m definitely a great catch. I just turned 41 on July 16th and have never been married nor do I have any children. I look a lot younger than my age and many people have attested to that.

    I will now first seek His Kingdom, righteousness and take delight in Him. Then, I will pray for a wonderful woman. Good women are a rarity but through God, anything is possible!!!!!

    • Kris Wolfe August 7, 2017 at 5:33 am #

      I’m 41 and we just had our daughter. I didn’t get married until I was 37, but I can say, I’m glad I waited and found the right one! I can understand how you feel, though. I definitely felt hopeless many times once I got to my 30s. Have you checked out blacktiebook.com? Right now we’re offering a bundle package for a book and workbook. It might be helpful. Thanks for your comment!

  28. Kyle August 10, 2017 at 8:36 am #

    Hi Kris, great article.
    My last relationship I dated a good girl but she was not beautiful in appearances but I took a risk and I started to date her. I found it difficult to go to church with her as I felt that I was a little ashamed to be seen with her. Since time went by I started to like her and have feelings for her because of her character, she is honest and loves me and me alone. she has no other male friend conversations etc. The only problem she was not as spiritual as me and I used to force her to read The Bible and even pray. I sometimes used to tell her to even stop watching horror movies as they are not Christ centered and she told me she has her own spiritual journey and I can not tell her why watch those movies. The huge problem came when her family was forcing me to marriage after just a year of dating her. Since they knew I was a good guy, they wanted instant answer from me when I am going to get married to their daughter as I was brutally interrogated by her folks for answers. I decided to end things off as I am just seeking God in this time. I made her aware that I have ended things based on the note of her folks interference in our relationship.
    I feel somehow peace with myself after seeking God for the last few days. I do have doubts though as I feel she did not do anything to me and I also feel I am getting old as I am 31 years old.
    Do you think I did the correct thing in this situation?

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