Is technology changing how we court and find love? 1 in 5 people aged 25-34 have used online dating or apps to find love in 2013. It seems these numbers are only increasing based on my men’s group in Los Angeles, CA. Most of them have tried Tinder at least once.
First impressions now are often texting skills and emoji use. Teenagers are texting pros it seems. Over half of them are comfortable asking someone out via text. Improving your texting game won’t hurt you. Texting is becoming more acceptable in every area, including the corporate environment. I spend more time texting with my coworkers now than talking on the phone.
You can look up training manuals and guides for what to text a girl. But Dale Carnegie & Associates recommends to
shift your use of media from a spirit of expose’ and objection to a spirit of encouragement and exhortation
to win others over. Keep it positive. A good rule of thumb is to communicate with the purpose of “strengthening, encouraging, and comfort.” The best text messages come when you’re in a good frame of mind too. If you’re angry or your judgement is cloudy, put your phone down.
Dating apps and online dating can greatly increase your chances and choices. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, it’s more important than ever to establish what you want in a relationship first.
Since Kristen and I live so close to the grocery story, we generally go with the objective of picking up only a few things. However, we both have a tinge of ADHD. Let’s say our objective is to pick up cucumbers and eggs. Upon entering the store, I immediately gravitate to the clearance section (I’m cheap) and emerge with a shopping cart full of 59 cent gum packages. Kristen walks by the candy section, and when we finally leave the store one hour later, we have three sacks of peanut M&M’s, protein bars, frozen chicken, and discounted gum. We get home and realize we forgot the cucumbers and eggs.
That’s why it’s important to stay focused on your Future Spouse List. The internet is called the web for a reason. You can get snagged by a lot of distractions. Don’t enter the online dating field, and come out with too much baggage.
As one dating article for women puts it, “Who has time to focus on finding Mr. Right when you’re texting with Mr. Tonight?” The message is clear: when you focus on immediate gratification, you will lose focus on your long term goals. Potentially you can lose your chances of getting your dream girl.
How to find a good girl on a dating app? Start with your profile and your expectations.
Build your profile based on what you’re looking for
Your profile is your first impression. Consider stereotypes. Posting a shirtless pic can convey you are cocky and perhaps promiscuous. She may think you like to party if you upload a pic with a drink in your hand. You might come across as too nice and sensitive if you post a pic cuddling a white fuzzy bunny.
Be upfront with what you’re looking for
Not only should your profile information describe who you are and what you want, you should spell it out before you meet. One of my best friends told Kristen and I that he wanted to find a “good, Christian girl” to date. After a first date Kristen asked him, “Is she a Christian?” He replied, “I don’t know. I didn’t ask her.” He described how he was too scared to ask this question. He also wondered if it’s even relevant to bring up on a first date. Kristen made a good point, though. “You should ask her if she’s a Christian before you even go on the first date if that’s what you want.”
Swipe right according to your list
Once again, don’t get blinded by her hotness. If her profile doesn’t match up to your future wife list at all, why waste your time trying to match with them? Showing interest in someone when you have no intention of truly getting to know them is an empty cause.
Online dating and apps can be a great way to meet a good girl. You can develop the best profile and gain expertise in texting; ultimately this will only prepare you to meet her face to face. Then what? Will you be able to pursue her in person?