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The Benefit of Being in the Friend Zone: A Different Perspective on Teenage Dating

The benefit of being in the friend zone

Being homeschooled has given me a different perspective on teenage dating and romantic relationships.

One reason being, I can’t have a girlfriend or date anyone until I’m at least seventeen. But, I can have plenty of girl friends. This has helped me learn to appreciate the importance of a romantic relationship, and to date with the purpose of marriage.

When it comes down to it, relationships only have two possible outcomes: heartbreak or commitment (leading to marriage)–the latter should be the ideal.

But, the younger you are, the harder maintaining any romantic relationship will be.  And chances are, you probably aren’t ready for one, either.

You’re a male, maybe even a godly one, and you’ve got instincts to protect and provide.  Whether it be for family or a girl you like, those instincts are there.

Say, you are in a romantic relationship.  Sure, she probably feels safe around and with you, but can you actually provide for her?  If you can’t provide for her –mentally, physically and emotionally– then I wonder what’s the purpose of pursuing a romantic relationship?

Unless the relationship lasts through school, college and results in marriage…what’s the point?

In high school, it may seem like all the guys have their girlfriends, but how many of those relationships will actually last?  Not many.  And there may be the peer pressure to get a girlfriend, but that, my friend, is definitely not a good reason to be dating anyone.  It can only get more complicated as the days go on, and the longer it lasts, the harder heartbreak will be for both of you.  And you’re young with raging hormones–don’t fall into temptation.

Another thing I’ve learned about is the importance of a friendship with the opposite gender.

Girls are great, and it’s hard not to love them no matter what age you are, but actually loving them may not be the wisest thing to do in your youth.

The benefit of being in the friend zone.

Make friendship with girls, because, ideally, don’t you want to end up marrying your best friend?  It’s best to become friends with the girl you like.  Try your best at pushing all romantic feelings aside and truthfully pursue a platonic relationship with her.

Emotion isn’t easily hidden, and she’ll probably pick up on your feelings sooner or later, but don’t let that scare you away.  You’re after friendship, right?  Right.  And if that really is your goal, you’ve got nothing to worry about.  Besides, if she doesn’t do as your best friend, how would she do as your future wife?

Become her friend and don’t care about a romantic relationship with her until you’re older and the possibility of being able to provide could actually become a reality.

I know, she’s amazing and that’s a difficult task, but you’ll be glad you waited, and she’ll be glad, too.  Friendship gives the two of you the perfect opportunity to really get to know each other, and gives God all the time and space He needs to do His will in your lives.  And perhaps most importantly, you need to pursue your own personal relationship with God, and He will reveal to you the right person at the right time.

He could’ve already shown her to you, but needs your attention before He awakens her heart towards you.

Learn to wait patiently, because you may not be meant to be together now, but perhaps in the future.  And if you’re really meant to be together, don’t worry, God will make it happen if it’s apart of His perfect will.

Think twice before dating in your youth; friendship may be what’s right for you.

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11 Responses to The Benefit of Being in the Friend Zone: A Different Perspective on Teenage Dating

  1. Cara January 20, 2016 at 8:43 am #

    Friendship always wins. 🙂 Great work!

    • John Haskins January 22, 2016 at 2:08 am #

      I know, right? It’s a win/win!

  2. Zach Meneses February 4, 2016 at 4:02 pm #

    Bro, you are a real bro.

    In all seriousness though, it’s great seeing another young man doing his best to pursue goodness and uplift the dignity of women. You help other young men (like myself) to keep on the straight and narrow. Keep it up.

  3. King Muindi February 9, 2016 at 5:02 pm #

    True friendship is definitely a great foundation for any relationship. Great piece!

  4. A Smart Man March 10, 2016 at 5:31 pm #

    Wow, this is absolutely awful advice. Probably the worst thing I’ve seen on this site. Makes sense coming from a home-schooled kid with an artifical dating age limit and a sheltered social bubble (not being mean, just honest). You can date anyone, at any time, no age limit buddy.

    The million sites about the “friendzone” (and it’s associated misery) exist because long-term dedicated “friendships” extremely often preclude any romantic aspects, which means they are a one way ticket to Rejectionville, passenger: you. Yes, we (I) have all dated and had long term relationships with friends, but we were probably more friendly acquaintances before the relationship and it IS rare. Romantic relationships are just as beneficial to growing up and your social development as friendships are. They teach a multitude of things you just can’t learn in any kind of friendship. The thought of marrying your best friend is great (and sentimental), and a thing to strive for, but you’ll learn eventually that you become best friends with a significant other from entering the right relationship with the right person, not the other way around. And marriage is absolutely the goal for a faith based traditional man to strive for when dating, but no one plays baseball and thinks they are just going to walk up to the plate and hit a homerun right away, first swing – that’s simply foolish. Dating, as with anything else, is about the process, the experiences, and getting to know women you are (hopefully) interested in. Maybe one of them will be your homerun, but that’s a lot pressure to put on anyone and any singular dating experience, but even worse pressure to put on a friend or a friendship.

    Just some food for thought.

    • Andrew April 7, 2016 at 2:03 am #

      You seem to be bouncing all over the place with regards to your points here. John is merely pointing out that, while you can’t (or maybe it’s by personal choice) date maybe just being friends is the best position.

      You learn the good and the bad about the other person without the heartbreak of a breakup. I made the mistake of jumping into a relationship with someone who I hadn’t really been friends with beforehand, and I ended up really hurt.

      in the end, you’re gonna date in whatever style or fashion you want, but John’s advice is perfectly sound.

  5. Tips.omsaitech November 26, 2016 at 9:37 am #

    People generally relate being friend-zoned as a rejection in life. It’s like you got a reply from your crush that she loves you too but only as a friend, and that is what you would least expect.
    Although most of the people get scared about the idea of being ‘just friends’ with the opposite sex but there are things which are really good about being in this zone. Your friend who is genuinely interested in being your friend is a cool person and not someone who is using your feelings as a means to exploit you.

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