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Do You Want To Be A Husband? Start With Husbandry.

Do you want to be a husband?

At our men’s group recently, we were discussing farming and fields.

“How does agriculture discussion happen in LA?” you might ask. One of our guys brought up this chapter in the Bible, Matthew 13, which is about a farmer planting seeds in a field. It wasn’t long before we were talking about how a field can represent us as men (incidentally, I apparently ponder this often).

Someone brought up how farmlands and even athletic fields need rest to build up root reserves. Interesting. I asked, “Isn’t it strange that something as simple as dirt needs rest?” In fact, soil also needs water and nutrition; it has to be tended to for it to produce a crop.

I can relate to this need for rest. I’m busy, and I can feel my lack of root reserves frequently. Everything becomes shallow in highly stressful moments, and even though it seems I’m working hard on the surface, I’m actually getting nowhere.

Now that I’m married, I’ve noticed my stress not only affects me, but my wife, Kristen, as well.

Back to men and fields. One guy replied, “Doesn’t the Bible say we are made from dirt?” My good friend Sebastian said, “The word ‘husbandry’ means to take care of the field.”

“Husbandry?…You mean…marriage?”

“Husbandry isn’t marriage,” replied Sebastian. “It’s tending crops and animals.”

A husband, in this sense, is one who takes care of many things.

Just like soil, we have to be tended to and cared for early in life to be healthy. However, not many of us have that advantage. Fields get wrecked.

Have you felt your life was wrecked?

The good news is, a wrecked field can find renewed purpose. In fact, sometimes land is destroyed on purpose for a purpose. Farmers and foresters use field burning to prepare land for planting. Weeds and their seeds are killed off by the fire. The land starts again on a clean slate. Fire purifies the land, and then the field rests again for a time.

As men, it’s ok to acknowledge our need for rest. We must be husbandry over our lives. We might think a girl can bring rest and fulfillment to us. However, that line of thinking means we depend on another person for security.

Do You Want To Be A Husband? Start With Husbandry.

It’s only after we learn to take care of ourselves, we can advance from husbandry to husband.

I wasn’t able to find a direct correlation between husband and husbandry. In fact, when husband was traced back to the 13th century, it didn’t mean “married man.” Interestingly, wife came from the word wif, and the “man of a married couple” was called a wer.

Today we only use wer in one context…werewolf, meaning “man-wolf.” I’m currently thinking Wer would be a great name for my future son.

Now, let’s recover from my ADHD.

Initially, husband simply meant “head of the house.” Today, I might get accused of being paternalistic by saying men should be the heads of the household. And it’s kinda sad. After all, paternalistic should be a great word to use, not a negative one, because it means how a father treats his children. I hope my future children think of that term with a sense of fondness because I treated them with love.

As husbands, we’re no longer just caretakers of our fields, but we sow into our wives and children’s lives as well.10 Ways To Win A Girl's HeartI’m very excited to announce my book, 10 Ways To Win A Girl’s Heart is available for order.

3 Responses to Do You Want To Be A Husband? Start With Husbandry.

  1. ClaudeA November 6, 2015 at 9:16 am #

    Although I’ve come to equate church attendance with VooDoo, Creator established His Family Order at least somewhat similar to the system most pagan-focused Christian churches ordain today.

    Interesting to myself, I just woke with the thought that my quest these past four years for my next wife must be changed from finding the right gal to asking Father to remake me into the the right guy. All my 70+ years there has been absolutely no focus on who I am to be in this life upon this spec of cosmic dust, so for myself, this “new” focus is revolutionary.

    After waking I opened my main eMail and discovered the letter on Husbandry as the framework to create a successful husband on, or within. For these years since my beloved died because she simply gave up on living the one thing that I try to stress to each potential lifemate I work with I attempt to impress the idea of “Husband-As-Nurturer, – Provider, -and-as – Caretaker – of – his – Wife.

    So far all I get is blank stares. That’s sad, but in today’s Jezebel-spirited female dom sexist mindset, it’s what is. Either we men deal with this Jezebel Issue, and overcome it by returning our focus to being real Husbands, or we simply lose out on being husband in the real sense altogether.

    The concept of “Husband” as ancient Boaz illustrated with his life focus on being “Husband” is a good guide to follow. Interesting to those Christians who assume Boaz married only Ruth, the custom of those days included more than one wife to a husband. Boaz may well have husbanded several ladies. I simply laugh at the Christian mantra that Creator intended one man and one lady to form a household, when the Bible Christians claim to base their entire living on clearly illustrates that the most revered husbands in the lineage of the Christian “Jesus” had many wives. Even that “Jesus” had not a single word to condemn the practice of husbanding more than one lady at a time.

    so, with the Truth about Husbandry in my heart, my Guide, Creator Himself, now leads my focus onto the “Boaz Husband Prep Course”! This should be a fun quest!

    • Kris Wolfe November 13, 2015 at 9:57 am #

      You bring up some interesting concepts Claude. It’s been a little bit since I read it, but you’re right, the term “husband” wasn’t used in Boaz’s time. However, I’d like to look where monogamy returned to common practice, since it all started with Adam and Eve.

  2. King Muindi November 20, 2015 at 3:47 am #

    I have been on that journey of husbandry and now I’m on the quest to find my wife – God’s gift to me. Pray with me on this brothers.

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