Many guys don’t know how to be romantic. Romance is an elusive word. We can point it out when it’s displayed, but most guys don’t really understand what it means. However, by knowing the thoughts behind romance, any guy can become a master.
Romantic literature featured the Byronic hero, inspired by English poet Lord George Gordon Byron. He’s not your standard, unreachable hero–he’s authentic and real. Often he suffers depression, loneliness, and shame. He’s atypical and strange, but loves deeply and emotionally. He’s driven by strong conviction and he doesn’t waver from his beliefs.
Today, you see the Byronic hero take shape in characters like the vampire Edward Cullen, the tortured Batman portrayed by Christian Bale, Don Draper, and James Bond. Make no mistake, while the Byronic character may be a bit tortured and creative, he’s strong in personality and substance, and when he does something romantic, it’s significant and deep in meaning that’s attractive to a girl.
Being romantic isn’t easy to describe because it’s not simply an action.
The Byronic hero should give every guy a sense of hope in dating who otherwise feels rejected and maybe awkward. Just like the mystery of the Byronic hero, being romantic embodies characteristics that can be accessed and demonstrated by every guy.
Romance is unexpected, thoughtful, uncommon, impractical, heroic, emotional, spiritual, and sensual.
8 Thoughts To Master The Art of Romance
Romance is unexpected
While many women may consider it romantic when her boyfriend or husband brings home flowers every Monday night, it’s unanticipated gestures that truly command attention, embody romance, and become memorable. It’s why girls always want to know how a guy proposed: because generally, the best proposals come at the least expected time, as when he surprises her by getting down on one knee.
Romance is thoughtful
Romantic gestures shouldn’t be cookie-cutter events, but are best when personalized to the girl. Just like every girl is unique, the romantic act should match her uniqueness. This takes time and noticing little things that make a big difference to her.
For example, what’s her favorite dessert? Take her to a restaurant that serves it. Who’s her favorite actress? Take her to a film with her in it.
Romance is uncommon
Buying chocolates and red roses for Valentine’s Day may be necessary, but the best romantic acts are those that are out of the ordinary.
Since Kristen has always wanted to be a princess, I took her to Hearst Castle for her birthday. Tickets were reasonable. I also took her horseback riding on the beach. She describes it as her best birthday ever.
The key is to provide a unique experience. It could be a drive-in movie or as simple as identifying starts on a clear night. Like the sky, romantic love is larger-than-life. It’s why you want to go over-the-top to express it.
Romance is impractical
A romantic act is often extravagant and impractical. It may not mean much to you, as a guy, but it means a lot to a woman. Generally, the most romantic gifts have no utilitarian purpose. She’s probably not going to be impressed by a new tool set, but a personal note can mean a lot.
Romance is heroic
Heroic romance is self-sacrifice on behalf of the girl. It can be as simple as giving her the last scoop of ice cream or giving up a night with the guys. It happens when a man is willing to give up his own comfort or pride to protect and care for the girl.
Romance is emotional
A boy is often taught it’s not ok to display vulnerability or emotion except for anger. When he becomes a man, emotions may seem all but dead and dried up. However, all humans are created to have passion and feeling. No matter where you are on the spectrum, every guy can access his feelings and show a girl he cares for her and loves her. It doesn’t matter what you do. Maybe your poem doesn’t rhyme or your drawing is a pitiful stick-figure. If she feels the emotion, it will be romantic to her.
Romance is spiritual
Aristotle described love as “one soul and two bodies,” because the top tier of romance ultimately has to be transcendent. It’s why sharing the same faith can enhance a relationship.
Romance is sensual
One of my wife’s favorite romantic gestures is when I come up behind her and kiss her neck. Make no mistake, any guy can be inspired by the points above, but if a girl doesn’t feel any chemistry, there’s really no romance. Be a gentleman, but don’t discount sexual energy. If you’re in the dating phase and waiting to have sex for marriage, it should be difficult for you because chemistry is still important. You won’t lose chemistry when you discuss and agree upon physical boundaries, you’ll preserve it for the right time.
Maybe you don’t have the hair of Edward Cullen, the strength of Batman, the authority of Don Draper, or the suaveness of James Bond, but you do have the depth of a soul that ultimately can win a girl’s heart over. Every guy can be the Byronic hero. How will you begin?