Note from Editor: John recently turned 16 and has contributed several articles. Read what he has to say…this gives me a lot of hope for this upcoming generation.
Let’s start off strong before my personal views on teenage dating get misunderstood. First off, I feel ages of 13-16 should wait on dating. Second, I intend this article to go hand-in-hand with my previous work regarding the topic of teenage dating: The Benefit of the Friendzone. Lastly, allow me to highlight the key point of The Benefit: ideally, you want to marry your best friend.
Now that I’ve cleared that up, let’s continue.
Throughout all of my searching, and somewhat endless googling, I’ve found very little, if any, solid advice on pursuing a girl as a young man, or a teenager.
Honestly, this isn’t too surprising. Who, out of all the teenage boys, is actually pursuing a girl? What teenager is thinking about a future together with someone? Very few. But remember, if we strive for it with enough passion, our numbers can and will grow.
With my limited experience, I present to you the article that I’ve been waiting for…so I proceeded to write it myself.
Here are 7 ways a young man pursues his dream girl:
1. Be Respectful. In our poisoned culture, the guy who goes against the grain will stand out. The guy who doesn’t hit on her, doesn’t use pick-up lines, and doesn’t touch her inappropriately will be remembered. Don’t be respectful to just her, but to her friends, siblings and parents also. A good impression on them leaves a good impression for you.
2. Befriend her. Simply put, just become her friend. Through friendship she’ll see your good qualities in action. She’ll grow to trust you, feel comfortable with you, and even start to care about you. No, the friend zone isn’t a bad thing.
3. Listen to her. By far, one of my personal favorite quotes is this:
Make sure you listen to her. She’s got a lot to say and if you’re paying attention you might catch something you’ll never hear again: how to win her heart
I’d have to say that’s reason enough to always listen. It’s respectful, too.
4. Be a gentleman. Hold doors open, pull her chair out, and offer to help her take off her coat. When she’s cold, let her wear your jacket. Compliment her, especially about the small things. Stand closest to the road while walking together. When there’s nowhere to sit, give her your seat. Always pay for dates. And that’s just to name a few things.
5. Pursue her heart. Time will reveal her heart. Does she put others before herself? Does she respect others? How does she treat the people around her, her family, and you? Does she respect those people? Get to know the kind of person she is, and let her know you’re interested beyond her appearance.
6. Show her you care. When she’s talking, look her in the eyes and smile. Give her sincere compliments that don’t seem rehearsed, but instead come from your heart. When she’s going through a tough time, comfort her. Protect her from annoying players, and defend her when she needs it. Make her smile. Small things are really important, so mention them.
7. Trust God. This may not seem like an important part of pursuing a girl, but it definitely is. With all honesty, you should trust God with everything. That’s no easy task, but once you start trusting Him, especially with your feelings, you won’t worry or doubt things as much as you did before. At our age, pursuing a girl requires a lot of trusting in God; trusting He knows what’s best for you, and for her.
Pursue her in a way that will please God, and in a way that you want a young man to pursue your future daughter. A gentleman is honest about his intentions, so eventually you’ll have to tell her that you like her, if she hasn’t figured it out already.
Wait on God’s timing, and trust Him while pursuing anyone. She could be the right person, just the wrong time. Remember this: if it’s meant to be, it will happen. But that’s if it’s God’s will. And above all, pursue your own relationship with God, and trust Him! You’ll both be glad that you did.