The opposite of courage is fear. Many men are afraid, especially when it comes to attracting a girl. The root cause of this fear is rejection, so most guys take two common protective routes when it comes to pursuing women: giving up or putting on masks. When a man gives up on pursuing a girl before he even pursues her, he’s eliminated all risk of rejection. When a man puts on a mask, it’s deceitful, many people can recognize it, and will often call the guy “shady”.
Giving up and putting on masks are two protective techniques responsible for men acting distant, emotionless, and weak. Effectively, protective techniques cut off connection with the heart, or the core of a man’s being. “Core” comes from the Latin word “cour,” which means heart. Courage means to act from one’s core or heart.
For the purpose of this article, we’ll focus on the guy who puts on a mask.
4 Masks Guys Use to Attract a Girl
1. The Technique Mask
Some guys lack the art of conversation. Out of nervousness and fear, even a simple “hello” can come across as weird and inauthentic. Many of these guys look to pickup artists for conversation starters or pickup lines. There’s nothing wrong with seeking help to overcome conversation fears, just make sure it’s in accordance with your core.
2. The Using Bad Advice Mask
Before taking any advice from a friend or mentor, look at their relationship or lack of one first. If they don’t have a healthy relationship, why would you want to take their advice? However, if this friend or mentor does have a healthy relationship and offers advice that doesn’t feel right to you, pay attention to your intuition.
3. The Meeting Her Expectations Mask
If you feel like you have to measure up to her standards and act a certain way before she’ll consider you, you’ve already lost. You’re losing because relationships are similar to buying something marked “as is”–the defects aren’t going to be fixed by the manufacturer. “As is” is a requirement for unconditional love, the only kind of love that will last.
You’ve also lost because you’re not being true to your self, which makes you weak. Stay true to your core and you’ll stay true to your strength. Listen carefully to your conscience and inner guidance.
When you deny your deep truth to please your woman, everyone will feel your lack of authenticity. The Way of The Superior Man, David Deida.
4. The Nice Guy Mask
Most people think the guy who puts on an act is a jerk or a player, but there’s one guy who may be more manipulative…the nice-acting guy who’s concerned about what others think of him and pretends to be kind to get what he wants. This mask is a lie even though he appears to have the best of intentions. If his intentions are selfish and impure, he’s just as much a jerk as the guys he complains about. The best lovers aren’t afraid to act outside the box.
I bring these up because every guy needs an accountable reminder of how not to act when pursuing a girl. If you want to put your best foot forward, then don’t be afraid to show your authentic self. If you’ve identified the mask you’ve been using, take it off, and have some courage.