Do opposites attract?
Lately there’s been a stream of posts talking about the advantages of being an introvert, so it’s only natural extroverts have shared their own pride as well.
Instead of bickering back and forth about which one is better, why not step across the line and find a potential soul mate?
I’m an extrovert. My wife is an introvert. You can diagnose yourself as an extrovert if large crowds get you revved up. If big groups drain you, you’re an introvert. Crowds invigorate me, while Kristen prefers quality time alone at home.
Being an introvert or an extrovert has nothing to do with your social skills. I can be extremely awkward. Even though Kristen is an introvert, she’s always on point in front of a crowd.
Articles about dating an introvert make it seem like they are a chore, but effort is important in any relationship. Extroverts and introverts can make the perfect couples. According to Myers Briggs, my wife and I are the perfect fit, but we already knew that.
There are 3 reasons why an introvert and extrovert make a great pair for dating and relationships:
- Balance: An extrovert has no balance at a party. Walking into a huge crowd is like crack. I bounce off the walls (sometimes literally) all night. For Kristen, it’s a cess pool. She’s ready to go a couple of hours in. (Unless of course she’s engaged in a deep, one-on-one conversation). The great thing about being with her is she pulls me back to reality. Instead of staying out until 4 a.m., she gives me the cue, and I snap out of my catnip craze.
- Stretch: I’ve stretched her to go to more events, and she’s stretched me to actually enjoy time alone. Growth happens individually and as a couple when you go outside your comfort zones. Just like yoga, stretching doesn’t feel so great at the time, but dang, you feel good afterwards.
- Addition: Together we are more dynamic as a couple. I stay surface, and she goes deep. When I’ve checked out in one-on-one conversations, she asks insightful questions, and keeps the conversation going.
While you might find your dream guy/girl in your opposite, there are some things to be aware of too. Come to think of it, these are great things for everyone to practice regardless of the personality type you are dating.
- Establish boundaries: Before we walk into a group setting, we will establish when we are going to leave, despite the fact I push for a little later. That way, she has a goal to shoot for, and I know when it’s time to simmer down.
- Maintain a good attitude: Wherever we may be, we choose to enjoy each other. I’m just as happy to be alone with her at home as she is happy to be with me at a party.
- Honor each other: Kristen knows I need group time, and I know she needs quality time together alone. We set aside two days a week specifically for us.
- Communicate: If we’re in a large group and Kristen is ready to go, she’ll pinch my hand to let me know. As an extrovert, there are always plans brewing somewhere. Before making any commitments, I run everything through Kristen and together we decide what we will attend.
- Acknowledge the good qualities: The other night, I went to a bachelor party and told Kristen I would leave by midnight. She couldn’t believe I kept my word. She was bragging to her sister and everyone else. In the same way, I’ve recognized Kristen for the way she’s befriended my circle of friends. She’s closer to some of them than I am now!
Sure, compromise is necessary, but that’s required in any relationship. Introverts and extroverts go together. Even in extrovert-extrovert relationships, one will always be more extroverted than the other at one point or another. The same rules apply. Opposites can and do attract.