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10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart

How the average guy can get the beauty queen

Disclaimer:  This blog is not intended for the guy who wants a one-night stand. There are books like “The Game” and “The Players Handbook” which can give you great techniques if all you want is to hook up and end up with an empty life and a roster of regrets.  If you want the most beautiful girl in the world on the outside and inside, a girl you would be proud to show off to all of your friends AND family, and a girl to build the foundation of a full life together, then “10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart” is for you.

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I can’t believe it. In a few weeks I will be marrying my dream girl. She’s the type of woman who blew all of my expectations and checklists out of the water. I look down at her in my arms, and I know I’ve found the treasure of a lifetime. She’s so delicate both physically and emotionally. It’s almost like I’m holding a baby. I want to treat her gently, speak loving words, and plant kisses all over her sweet smelling skin. I can’t help but think, “How did you, Kris, get the most precious jewel in the world????” After all, she’s much more than a beautiful creature to stare at. She’s intelligent, well-spoken, athletic, care-free, and creative. She’s like a fairy tale princess. She was Miss USA!!!

The other night, we’re on a hike, and as we get to the top, we encounter the most beautiful view. It’s literally all the colors Kristen picked out for our wedding, and she’s in awe. I am caught in between the most beautiful woman and the most beautiful sunset God has created. I’m talking to her about this blog idea. After all, I want this blog to be the turning point for the good guys out there. I’m all about the underdog coming back for the win, and it just seems the good guy ends up being the one who loses to these generic techniques some greasy dude fine tunes from using over and over again. So, I asked her what things I did to win her over. I should give credit to Kristen because she is the one who really came up with the “10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart.” Are you ready to win your dream girl?  Here we go…

1. Be pursuant
Pursue her without the pressure. In other words, don’t try to “front” and be cocky. Have a conversation first and show her you are interested beyond her appearance.  You don’t have to come up with some crazy pickup line. You can simply say, “I want to introduce myself…”Be sincere and genuine in wanting to get to know her. I see too many good guys get intimidated by a girl’s beauty up front, but take a closer look, and find her true self. Honestly, if you can get past this, you’ll have a leg up on the other idiots out there. After all, being genuine is where you excel the most. This is why you are the good guy!!

2. Be a gentleman
Girls don’t want to be treated like a queen, but they do want to be treated like a princess. She doesn’t want you to be a doormat, she wants you to be the one in charge. Open every door for her, especially the car door. Pull out her chair and allow her to sit down first when you take her on a date, and let her order first. When you are walking alongside the street, you should be the one walking closest to the street. Being a gentleman is being selfless.

3. Be complimentary
On our first date, I told her “You look so beautiful.” I then told her how great she looked when I saw her without makeup the night before. It was real and sincere. While she later revealed to me that she had been testing me to see if I would still like her without makeup, I simply saw a girl who didn’t have enough time because she just got done at the gym. That was incredibly sexy to me.

4. Be creative
You don’t have to blow your bank account to impress her. Think outside the box. I’ve been watching one of my good buds pursue his girl right. He took her on a hike in Malibu, CA to waterfalls and then took her to this place called M Café complete with swans. He’s also taken her to the Getty museum and the zoo, which are free. Another idea is to take her to a place like Color Me Mine, where you paint your own pottery. Putting thought and originality into a date lets her know you really care about showing her the best in life and it allows you to experience each other across various situations.

5. Be intentional
Invite her to parties, events, and game nights with your friends. I called Kristen every day when I finally got her number.  I sent her encouraging text messages and inspirational Bible verses. I told her I wanted to be her man on our fifth date.  She wasn’t ready, but she knew what I wanted. I gave her the time she needed with no stipulations, while still pursuing her intentionally. She told me she loved that.

6. Speak well of her in front of other people
Hold her hand. Pick-up artists recommend saying backhanded compliments, but nothing beats a genuine and sincere compliment. A backhanded compliment might work for a one-night stand, but come on, this is a poisonous ingredient in trying to form a long-term relationship. Treat her just as kindly in front of friends and family as you do when you are alone.

7. Be attentive
Show her that you care for her and her needs. Pay attention to the small details. Girls care about the small stuff, big time. For instance, on our first date, I knew Kristen was a vegetarian, so I took her to a vegetarian restaurant called Café Gratitude. Listen to what she has to say.

8. Be protective
Don’t let her walk alone to her car. If she’s going on a jog or walk at night, tell her you want to go to keep her safe. If she’s going to the gas station at night, go with her. If you’re at a club and she needs to go to the restroom, take her there and wait outside the door.

9. Be a good listener
Ask solid open-ended questions that include “what,” “how,” and “why.” If you’re doing most of the talking, you’re not getting very far with her. Show her you care with body language and by repeating back some of what she just told you.

10. Be romantic
Plan ahead. What do you want your love story to be? You are the writer. When people ask where your first kiss was, you don’t want her to answer with the driveway or that you were drunk at a party. The night I kissed Kristen for the first time, I wanted it to be special. I took her to an overlook on Mulholland Drive. We stood on top of the city, and that night I was her very own Superman. It was a special moment and I ended up proposing to her there.

Finally, be yourself. There won’t be much longevity if she’s fallen for a false persona, and why would you want that anyway?  I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not the coolest guy out there, so I have fun in my dorkiness. There is no one else like you, so be confident. When you are walking in truth, game isn’t necessary.  You’ve already won.

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169 Responses to 10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart

  1. Tesa Wallace May 29, 2013 at 2:57 pm #

    Upon reading this I discovered there is another Man that makes the difference. A Man with whom you both share a relationship. His name is Jesus and if you have a heart for Him you’ll have a heart for one another. Amen and life blessings over you two. TesaPurplePoet

    • Chad Landry November 12, 2013 at 8:25 pm #

      Kris,

      I think this is well written, and I applaud you for writing about such things. Number 8 is borderline controlling. Some of us “good guys” want a woman who is strong, confident in herself, and likes to do things on her own.

      I was very fortunate to have parents that taught me to treat women like you have written here. After a marriage that lasted 13 years, I can honestly say it is just as important for a “good guy” to do a good job of evaluating his potential mate as well, not just trying to treat her a certain way. Some, not all, but some women that want to be treated this way or put large value in being treated this way have major codependency problems, even the ones you meet in church. Everyone is different and every situation has it’s set of circumstances. I would say that this would be a mostly good guide for a guy to look at whether his actions match up with his intentions or the condition of his heart.

      • Josh November 15, 2013 at 10:22 am #

        I was thinking the same thing a bit over the top. There’s being protective and then there’s being over bearing.

    • Hunter March 16, 2014 at 5:48 am #

      Thank you and god bless

  2. Tesa Wallace May 29, 2013 at 3:01 pm #

    P.s. I think it is no coincidence that your name are derivitaves of one another. Kris/Kristen you two are purposed for one another.

    • kriswolfe May 29, 2013 at 11:58 pm #

      The names “Kris” and “Kristen” both mean “Christ-bearers” :)

  3. Scottie May 29, 2013 at 3:28 pm #

    Chris, you never seize to impress me. Thanks for this post. I could not agree more with your points and look forward to reading this blog. It’s very reassuring to read something like this!

  4. Doug Levy May 29, 2013 at 3:36 pm #

    good stuff! =)

  5. TheDailyRunner May 29, 2013 at 4:54 pm #

    Right on the spot! Good job! :)

  6. JoieDeVivre May 29, 2013 at 5:19 pm #

    I sure hope there are still some single men out there like this (I know you’re out there somewhere!), and (here’s the key girls) may all of us ladies live and present ourselves in a manner that will attract these real men, and not their swaggy counterparts! ;-)

    • shikhar March 22, 2014 at 7:45 pm #

      :) :)

  7. Emilie May 29, 2013 at 5:21 pm #

    So true Kris! This sounds exactly like my boyfriend now :) I agree–these 10 things are absolutely, 100% fool-proof. Congratulations on finding the simple things..it appears they are the most overlooked. Best wishes to you and your fiancee, you deserve all the happiness in the world

    • kriswolfe May 29, 2013 at 11:55 pm #

      Thank you Emilie, and sounds like you got a good guy!

    • Just stop December 18, 2013 at 1:58 am #

      No, these are not 100% fool-proof. Women are not 100 percent the same, and I can tell you these will not all work on me. I don’t need a man to open every door for me because chivalry works both ways and I can open the door too. I don’t need a man to take charge because I want an equal partnership. I don’t want a man to think of me as fragile because I’m strong, capable, and self-sufficient.

      • Kris Wolfe January 21, 2014 at 7:46 am #

        “Just Stop,” I really like your declaration that you are “strong, capable, and self-sufficient.” I think these are words every woman should speak over themselves. Btw, I open doors for everyone. It’s just the polite thing to do.

        • Suzie January 23, 2014 at 4:55 am #

          I agree somewhat with “Just Stop,” but I’m mostly in agreement with Chris. If you just always open the door for people, then always opening the door for her isn’t obnoxious. But if the girl gets to the door first, don’t begrudge her opening the door. Same with car doors- if she waits, great, if she just automatically gets out of the car, don’t bug her about it. Also, #8 could come across as overprotective, so you have to be careful on that one too. Use common sense.

      • sean January 29, 2014 at 2:23 pm #

        Hey JustStop :) Your screenname and look on your pic’s face ;) screams the idealism and cynicism that will just shatter this and any other ‘blueprint’ for treating a woman the right way! I feel it’s pretty on the mark. Not in the way where every woman is the same. But in that you need to treat them in ways that show you truly care and are attentive to things others are clueless about. It’s one thing to put on an act and do all these things just to be successful. It’s another to innately be this way and to feel the way most women truly do… Which means you are just putting yourself out there as you and not having any agendas or manipulations. I know many women are conditioned (through experiences and society’s gender role stereotypes) to expect the worst, but their perceptions may sabotage them when a guy comes along who is truly different behaves in ways they can’t handle. Oh and I would be happy for you to hold a door for me, as I would do for you. But I’m not most guys who would take it as a shock to THEIR fragile egos. You do that often enough with any guy, I don’t think you’ll be in a relationship with them for very long ;) Same as if you try to take charge too often.

        The odd thing is that what you say you DO want, your true emotions will reject a guy who makes them happen anyway… I will bet anything that if you have a guy who lets you play a more dominant role in a relationship with him, you will dump him after a short period of time. I don’t care if he treats you perfectly. Most women are genetically wired to want to feel protected, to want to feel that her guy has the plan and she can co-sgn it. But he has to show the initiative and strength to make it happen. That starts with him pursuing her form the beginning.:)..

        • Robin March 7, 2014 at 1:01 am #

          Sean, I am a woman and I agree fully with JustStop. Your reply makes me angry and clearly you’re jaded because you believe you ‘get’ women and for whatever reason, whatever you did didn’t work on someone.

          Don’t you DARE tell us what we do and do not want.

  8. EdgarTF May 29, 2013 at 5:57 pm #

    “If you’re at a club and she needs to go to the restroom, take her there and wait outside the door”. What is the point of this?

    • kriswolfe May 29, 2013 at 11:54 pm #

      Thanks for the feedback. If I leave Kristen alone anywhere, it’s like honey and flies.

      • Annie May 30, 2013 at 7:00 am #

        Sorry, but this just rubs me the wrong way. There’s a fine line between “protective” and “possessive.” She’s a person – trust her to be herself. You’re not going to be able to go everywhere with her for the rest of your lives, and there’s seriously something wrong if you feel like you have to.

        • kriswolfe May 30, 2013 at 7:07 am #

          Thanks for your input Annie. These examples actually came straight from Kristen. I think she just likes the fact that I walk her out to her car at night, and I’m looking out for her safety.

          • Nicholas December 7, 2013 at 4:28 am #

            A fine line there is, but be mindful that different people draw their lines differently. In Kris case, his girl was linear on the line and thus allowed his companionship even at times when it was unnecessary. :)

        • sean January 29, 2014 at 2:29 pm #

          Annie normally I will go against the ‘grain’ and disagree with guys and their selfish controlling egocentric beliefs on most things. But not in this case. I don’t see what he is saying as being possessive. If you go to this club where it seems seedy in there and a lot of undesirables walking around. Would you really feel safe if your mate was going alone somewhere? He’s not trying to hold her down, he’s trying to keep her safe in a place that is NOT safe at all. If he came out and said he was insecure about her and other guys then I would buy into what you are saying. But it seems he is being genuine in caring about her well being.

  9. Ben May 29, 2013 at 7:04 pm #

    Great article! And awesome you mentioned Danny Booko, one of my buddies as well.. great guy!

    • kriswolfe May 29, 2013 at 11:51 pm #

      Thanks man. Haha, I gotta show this to Danny. Haven’t gotten a chance yet.

  10. Tennille May 29, 2013 at 7:05 pm #

    Beautifully written! I must share this with my Tyler, well, maybe in a few years!! He’s just 17, I don’t want him finding his miss right for at least a few years! (Even though I met Paul when I was 17!)

    • kriswolfe May 29, 2013 at 11:50 pm #

      Thank you Tennille. I can’t believe your Tyler is 17. Weren’t we just that age? lol

  11. Broddy May 29, 2013 at 7:08 pm #

    PAUSE

  12. Giant Ginger Giraffe May 29, 2013 at 7:23 pm #

    Check out my way of bonding with the right guy: http://giantgingergiraffe.com/2013/05/21/the-adventure-bowl/
    I’ve had a dozen couples already ask for me to email them this thing.
    My game I created for the guy who swept me off my feet.

    • kriswolfe May 29, 2013 at 11:40 pm #

      I can’t wait to read it! Thank you for your response.

  13. Michael May 29, 2013 at 9:32 pm #

    Kris,

    First and foremost, congratulations! I am truly happy for you and hope that all men find their true love.

    This is an excellent and concise guide for any gentleman; however, I contest that these principles are only effective when you already have a relationship.

    I disagree with some of your points. The unfortunate fact is: The majority of women will be turned-off from your approach. Mind you, I am saying the “majority of women,” not all women.

    I see the comments above; women glisten and respond to your romantic principles like a sonnet being read in Romeo and Juliet. That’s beautiful and I certainly hope that these women truly wish to be treated like that. The reality is – good guys – do not always win. A sad reality, I know. I wish all guys can exercise your principles and whisk away a Miss USA.

    Seducing or finding the girl of your dreams is a science. That is why books like “The Game” was created. I do believe that the key to a successful relationship lies on basic psychological principles.

    In layman’s terms: you have to be a bad guy, at least some part of the time. It’s intriguing and beneficial to every relationship. I’m not condoning abuse; however, men have to exercise some form of resistance to keep their partners engaged and interested. Below I’ve outlined your rules and altered them for the good boy – bad boy guide:

    1. Be pursuant: I agree with all points. Being genuine is great. I would like to add: Be respectful, but hold your ground. Often times, men that are too sincere give in. Stand by your beliefs and opinions when you communicate. Do not always conform to please the girl.

    2. Be a gentleman: Opening a restaurant door is fine, don’t overdo it. Never open a girl’s car door or pull out her chair until she’s your girlfriend or wife. You’ll trigger her weakness radar and she’ll feel smothered. Be the alpha male. Don’t look desperate. She can still be your princess, just make sure you’re her Knight and Shining armor – not her caretaker.

    3. Be complimentary: Never compliment a girl on her appearance unless she’s your girlfriend or wife. I repeat, NEVER compliment a girl on her appearance unless she’s your girlfriend or wife. Complimenting a girl for her success or accomplishments is much more effective. Appearance is one of the biggest insecurities every male and female has. Show don’t tell. Your confidence and sense of interest will show in your body language and smile. She’ll know that you think she looks beautiful. Vocally complimenting a girl on her appearance will make you look weak in her subconscious – especially on the first few dates. I don’t have the patience to explain why, just trust me. Once you guys are exclusive, compliment as much as you want.

    4. Be creative: I agree with everything here.

    5. Be intentional: Never call a girl everyday in the beginning. Once every couple days is more than adequate.

    6. Be proud: Again, good points when she’s your girlfriend or wife. Not while you’re initially dating and getting to know each other.

    7. Be attentive: Do this enough to show her you’re interested. Don’t overstep your bounds.

    8. Be protective: Agreed with all points. This is a basic evolutionary practice; however, do not overstep your bounds by looking controlling or possessive. There is a thin line between being protective and possessive. The second you become too possessive, a signal will trigger the female’s subconscious motioning to your insecurities, ultimately making you look weak. Stay confident, don’t suffocate her.

    9. Be a good listener: Agreed with all points. Probably the most important principle in your guide. Remembering the little things and showing that you’ve been paying attention is one of the most powerful things you can do for any woman.

    10. Be romantic: These points should only be exercised when you’re nearing the relationship phase.

    There you have it: Your guide’s “alter ego.” The good boy – bad boy guide to getting the girl of your dreams.

    Special Note: I understand that it may be somewhat pathetic to debate with Kris on his beautiful blog post. Rest assure I’ve made this post in good taste and I am simply stating an alternative approach from past experiences. Men, take this as a grain of salt. I wish you the best in your life Kris!

    • kriswolfe May 29, 2013 at 11:40 pm #

      Thanks for the feedback Michael! This is my fourth blog post. I honestly wasn’t expecting the kind of response I got. 13,000 views over a few hours. I will definitely address some of your critiques as soon as I get a chance.

    • Jimena Grimaldos May 30, 2013 at 5:03 am #

      Wounded woman that didnt have a good relationship with their faher are inside out : in a femenine body but masculine energy. Those ones will defenitly fit the bad boy guide. But if what you want is to be with a healthy femenine woman she will totally fall for Kris suggestions. so I guess it depends what is your dream girl.

      • kriswolfe May 30, 2013 at 7:09 am #

        What great insight you have Jimena. Thank you.

      • spy789 May 30, 2013 at 7:41 pm #

        Agreed Jimena

      • Josh November 15, 2013 at 10:33 am #

        In my experience I’m yet to find even one woman who responds to a perfectly good guy. Most girls I’ve pursued have said I was too good or too nice. These are Christian girls, you don’t have to be a jerk but there has to be some danger and intrigue otherwise they just get bored. Almost every girl will say she loved this blog then you’ll watch her jump on the back of a motorbike of some idiot guy she knows full well is a complete jerk.

      • sean January 29, 2014 at 2:34 pm #

        Sounds like stereotypical, came fresh out of a pickup guide/book material there LoL! The moment you start to see/judge every person as the same you will see how much this truly sabotages you jimena…

    • ruthann May 30, 2013 at 12:27 pm #

      Totally disagree with you Michael, just a little “bad-boy” in with truth is like putting just a little kitty poo in a great cake mix. Spoils the whole thing …and totally on-board with Kris. Have met way too many “good” guys like you.
      Your kind makes me feel it’s safer to be on my own.

      • spy789 May 30, 2013 at 7:45 pm #

        That’s understandable Ruthann. In fact, I wish all women thought like you. However, the majority of women respond better to the bad-boy/good-guy.. I can spend hours using real world examples, popular culture, and psychology to support my stance. I wont bore you ;). We’ll agree to disagree.

      • sean January 29, 2014 at 2:45 pm #

        Ruthann, this is another case of logical words and outer self trying to override what’s truly emotionally inevitable inside! You can SAY you don’t like it and it’s no good all you want. But you can’t stop yourself from being emotionally drawn to what you truly feel inside! That’s why rule #1 for any guy… DO NOT EVER take what a woman says about her ‘dream guy’ or what she desires in a relationship at face value. It has nothing to do with logical thought. It has everything to do with innate emotional connection… I stopped reading after a little bit of what mikey said, because for the most part, guys bore me. They find ways to drain the life and emotion out of everything…

        But anyway, I will agree to that. You can be many things. You don’t have to be completely one way or another. We are not these stereotypical boring robots who are all either 100% nice guys or 100% bad boys. I personally believe that most of these guys are just manipulative phonies who are afraid to be what they truly are. They are trying too hard to be what they think a woman wants. Things are not black and white. What is most important is that you are genuine!

    • Paxton Viet Tran June 1, 2013 at 9:17 am #

      I agree with both of you. Kris’s approach works on the good/inexperienced girl. While Micheal’s approach works better for the bad/experienced girl. I guess I have to listen well to know what kind of girl to use the right set of tools. I believe good, bad, inexperienced and experienced people deserve to find love.

      • sean January 29, 2014 at 2:48 pm #

        Again, stop. Nothing ‘works’ best on any ‘type’ woman. You are trying to devise ways to ‘beat the system’ and win everytime. Instead of seeing how unique and beautiful a woman’s true self can be!

    • kriswolfe June 3, 2013 at 2:07 am #

      Michael: I’m finally getting a chance to address your critique. I think you came up with some good points.

      Critique #1 on being pursuant: I’m going to address this on my next blog, but a guy needs to operate from a position of strength. There is a difference between being a good guy and a nice guy. A good guy retains his values and beliefs.

      On being a gentleman: I always open a car door for a female, even if it’s a coworker. I watch too many guys sit by as a petite woman tries to put her luggage away on a plane. C’mon guys, have some class.

      On being complimentary: I just don’t think there’s ever any justification for withholding a compliment to anyone (to a man or woman). If anything we should all practice giving genuine compliments.

      On being intentional: I called Kristen every day only after we talked for four hours our first time talking on the phone.

      On being protective: That should be gauged by the girl. Kristen is high profile, so it is what she wants, and also necessary sometimes.

      On being romantic: I agree completely.

      Again, thanks for all of your feedback!

      • spy789 June 7, 2013 at 8:35 am #

        Kris,

        At the end of the day, I agree with all of your points. We have a lot in common. Unfortunately for me, I try and be the “bad boy” too often . I’m still young and have time to change my habits. Ill change them for the right woman. I hope we all find our fairy tale as you did. I did a quick search and saw your guys’ picture. Good man!! Wish you the best!

        Michael

        • Aaron December 27, 2013 at 10:11 pm #

          Michael,

          I can’t help but wonder if, by being the “bad boy” right now in wait of the “right” girl, you’re going to miss her all together because the girl for you is just simply not into the bad boys. The best time to start changing is now.

          Being you posted this on June 7th, maybe you’ve already found her. If not, and you still haven’t changed, then maybe it’s time for you to make your move to become a better person for the woman you haven’t even met yet.

          Aaron

          • sean January 29, 2014 at 3:09 pm #

            I am guessing that he is NOT going to listen to that aaron ;() LOL I just created a new smiley face! Anyway, guys who are clueless beta manipulative phonies have no sense of who they are. Nor of what you want as a woman. And he’s going to fail a lot more until something goes off inside that shows him the way. His motives are in the wrong place just like everything else. And any woman who spends time with him will probably pick that up and give him the reaction he’s so used to ahahahaha! That’s not to say he won’t meet some girls with lower standards that might accept him. But for the most part, I will not count on it ;)

        • sean January 29, 2014 at 2:55 pm #

          Oh brother. The second you said “I Try to be” you shot yourself in the foot. STOP trying to be anyone or anything. Just get in touch with who you truly are inside. What your strengths are. Upgrade your confidence and self esteem as a guy and stop trying to impress others! The better you get in tune with yourself, the better you will be in connecting with others. Instead of ‘trying so hard’, maybe you should let others try to please you. You don’t sound like a ‘bad boy’ in any sense to me. Just a manipulative guy who started out as one of those ‘do everything to please’ a girl guys who failed and then decided to try the other side of the fence. You will fail again. because you don’t know how a woman feels and you don’t even know how YOU feel either. You are just playing roles!!!

      • Kristin October 29, 2013 at 5:48 pm #

        I am as independent as they come. I can do it myself – putting my luggage in the overhead bin, opening my door, etc. BUT, that doesn’t mean I don’t want a guy to go out of his way to do it for me. I do understand some women don’t respond well to that, but I think that’s on them. I ALWAYS appreciate a gentleman who goes out of his way to, well, be a gentleman. Kudos.

        • sean January 29, 2014 at 3:00 pm #

          Well said Kristin… Because a little secret you just let out, is very appropriate! It’s not necessarily the action in what a guy does, it’s really the FEELING that the woman gets from it. She may not need anything from him, but she is still highly appreciative of him thinking of her in those ways and is willing to give of himself! But not to get anything in return… without motives and agendas, things are much clearer! But to turn it around on you, how would you feel if a guy does all those same things, yet you KNOW he’s doing them to get ‘rewarded’ by you. Suddenly being a gentleman doesn’t look so attractive ;)

    • Halle October 25, 2013 at 11:35 pm #

      Hi Michael,
      First of all let me quick point out that you are a man… Hmm, now I (as a woman) have some problems with your post that I would like to point out to hopefully help you with future situations. I know I am not most women and maybe you’re right and that the majority of them are like this but from my experience Kris’s article is pretty much right on.
      One really major fault in your comment was “Show don’t tell. Your confidence and sense of interest will show in your body language and smile. She’ll know that you think she looks beautiful.” with all due respect that is completely stupid! How is some girl who really doesn’t know you that well supposed to read your mind? That’s sneaky and dishonest. If you want to make her feel beautiful you should definitely tell her. Don’t be slimy about it just honestly tell her you think she looks great. She might even blow you off a little but I can pretty much promise you that you have just made her night.
      Another major flaw with your argument here is that you’re making girls sound like wolves that if they sense any form of weakness at all they will eat you (or leave you. :p) *Everyone* is weak sometimes. Yeah it’s good to be a strong person but if you have to be tough all the time you know what that comes off as? Really arrogant. And arrogant guys are *extremely* unattractive. Girls don’t want a guy who tries to seem tough and show off his manliness all the time. Girls don’t want to be dominated they want to be loved.
      Sadly I do realize that my gender has started giving up on the good guys and settling for the “bad boys”, I can see why you would be confused if a girl doesn’t trust when you’re honestly being decent just because she hardly ever sees a genuine good guy. But please, don’t give up on being good. Girls should have never lowered our expectations but please don’t sink to to that, besides the bad boy thing is way overdone. Be original and surprise us by being a good guy.
      I hope this has helped a little, maybe it just doesn’t make any sense. But I was getting so frustrated with the lack of knowledge in your comment that I wanted to help you and make sure you know that most girls *are not* the way you describe us. :)

      • Kris Wolfe October 26, 2013 at 2:37 am #

        Every guy needs to hear this: “Sadly I do realize that my gender has started giving up on the good guys and settling for the ‘bad boys’, I can see why you would be confused if a girl doesn’t trust when you’re honestly being decent just because she hardly ever sees a genuine good guy. But please, don’t give up on being good.”

      • sean January 29, 2014 at 3:53 pm #

        Halle you write too much :) Now coming from a guy who also writes too much you can see the irony right off the bat ;) Hmmm how should I say this… Ok, Hmm, now I (as a man) have some problems with your post that I would like to point out to hopefully help you with future situations. I know I am not most men and maybe you’re right and that the majority of them are like this but from my experience Kris’s article is pretty much right on. One really major fault in your comment was “ALL OF IT!” LoL! Hey roleplaying is fun! But back to seriousness ;)

        Anyway, I don’t even know who said what anymore. I’m just going to say how I feel about these things ;() First off, yes most women CAN and WILL read your body language. They will know a good amount of how you feel before you say anything. And even if not, you have no need to tell her what she has already heard from a million misguided superficial guys before… Compliment her on things of substance. Not about her body parts. Halle how many times has a guy told you that your eyes look amazing? Yep that’s what I thought :P
        I never give any of those shallow musings because I prefer a girl who is deep as I am. So why would I even lower myself to put the emphasis on her as an object. I am attracted to her as a person, not a piece of meat…

        Wait now, you are calling an amazing inherent female quality sneaky and dishonest? I’m calling b.s. now! Are you telling me you haven’t read guys’ minds before unintentionally? That you never pick up on everything they are telling you without even saying it? Are you telling me you never read their body language? Ahhh halle. You can’t fool a guy who knows differently… Even if you are trying to fool yourself into believing it.:).. As a guy who is damn good at it when it comes to reading women, it’s a wonderful thing!

        Mikey is portraying women as “wolves” because he himself has probably felt like the victim all too many times! He probably relives all his failures, insecurities, and inadequacies and transfers them over to women to make himself feel better! He sees them as being all these predatory things and the strange thing is it was him all along who was preying on women! In the sense that he is manipulative and will say or do whatever is needed to play that role and get what he wants. Even if he fails he still won’t get it.

        Arrogance IS unnattractive. But confidence is intoxicating! Enough said.

        But you’re doing it again. Stereotyping everyone as the same. The same thing these guys do who can’t find a woman to love them. But you are seeing all guys as 100% nice or 100% badboys. Not the case, not even close. I like to think of myself as the perfect mix. And most women go for a secure stable balance. Not someone who is all one way or another. Not desiring to impress or fit in to some stereotypical mold that society decrees. I am always my own person and nobody is going to change me with rules or limits!

        Please don’t make excuses for the guys who are making these women (including you) see red when they think their heart is in the right place. Also, don’t make excuses for women to always feel that the guy has an agenda. We are all different, have different needs, and different motivations! You wouldn’t even know that I’m in the 1% of this world in many things about me! Or the things that I go for in women on an emotional level. You just assume the worst because you allow this male controlled and contrived society to dictate this… I will never stereotype anyone. Every girl I meet is her own unique passionate amazing person!

        Oh and as much as you are trying to convince me otherwise, you can’t halle ;)

  14. AJ Yap May 30, 2013 at 1:11 am #

    such a sweet blog post. love it! congrats to the both of you.

  15. trendyhammer May 30, 2013 at 1:21 am #

    Reblogged this on Kevs' Blog.

  16. gabygalazd May 30, 2013 at 7:08 am #

    :)

  17. thinkoutloud May 30, 2013 at 10:42 am #

    Nice list, but as a woman (who’s been with her dude for 6 years), it’s difficult to reconcile the idea that the man pursuing me might also consider me a “possession” (albeit a prized one) and that I summon comparisons to a delicate infant. I don’t doubt your affection for your future wife, but as a post that is meant to give men indicators on how to pursue a woman, it is disappointing to see such an emphasis on the end goal being based on appearance and physicality and the creation of a new kind of female objectification (ie the Disney fairy tale illusion). After all, beauty/ femininity is a constructed notion. Might it not be more beneficial for women and men, regardless of their rung on the modern beauty ladder to treat each other with mutual affection and respect – and an awareness that in the end, it’s the person’s character you marry, not the skin they’re in?

    • kriswolfe May 30, 2013 at 3:42 pm #

      Thank you for replying, and very well written I might add. I consider Kristen more a treasure than a possession, a blessing not owning. I don’t know if I would’ve ever described a girl as a fairytale princess, but most people meet her and say she reminds them of the movie “Enchanted.” She is even more beautiful on the inside than the outside. My purpose is not to paint a picture of perfection, but a picture of hope for all of the disappointed good guys out there.

    • sean January 29, 2014 at 4:00 pm #

      Thinkoutloud, you already read my mind… I was picking up on his archetypes of women in that lil passage of his. But I didn’t let hem overshadow his genuinely caring treatment of his future wife. He may be a little misguided but his heart is in the right place…

  18. Rupa May 30, 2013 at 4:50 pm #

    Kris,

    I think you have the sweetest woman in the world. Definitely the most down-to-earth Miss USA atleast. Kristen has always been sweet enough to respond to my FB messages. I found out about this blog via a pageant forum. Some negative comments were posted. I was a bit skeptical but after reading this, it gives me hope that chivalry is not dead. More men these days need your traditional, polite attitude. Even more need to intertwine creativity into their relationships. Thank you for this.

  19. Joey Russell May 30, 2013 at 7:54 pm #

    Really good concept, but the methods are ridiculous. Calling a girl everyday until she goes out with you is creepy, desperate, and even potentially illegal. Following a girl to the bathroom and waiting for her SCREAMS I’m overprotective and have serious trust/insecurity issues… going with her fill up the car with gas? That’s a joke right? Was that before/after you started living together? Again, great concept, I’m always cheering for the nice guy who usually is the underdog, but I do not agree with a lot of these methods.

    Cheers!

    • kriswolfe May 31, 2013 at 12:21 am #

      Thanks Joey for the comment. I actually didn’t get her phone # right after we met. We started emailing back and forth on facebook, and when I did get her number, we just texted at first. When we finally talked, though, we talked for 4 hours. I wouldn’t say overprotective. If we are with her friends, I obviously don’t walk her to the bathroom. I’m not a jealous guy. She’s very beautiful, and guys hit on her all the time. The whole gas station thing came about because she asked me to go with her the other night, and I told her I’d just meet her back at my place. Of course some creepy guy wouldn’t leave her alone while she was filling up her tank. It’s more about making her feel protected and safe. Once again, these are the things she pointed out that she liked. FYI, we don’t live together yet. She’s moving in after we get married.

    • K.A.S. June 9, 2013 at 1:26 am #

      As a woman, there are areas and times in the city I won’t venture out alone. One of them is filling up my gas tank at night. I usually do it during the day so as not to pose any danger to myself. It was only smart of his fiancee to ask for help. Her vulnerability is rare. I don’t believe it has anything do with being overprotective or trust/insecurity issues. It’s just a safety issue that most women have.

      • sean January 29, 2014 at 4:06 pm #

        Of course. I’m not really sure k.s.a. why more of the women on here aren’t chiming in on this. Women do have these feelings. They are not comfortable being certain places or times alone. There is nothing wrong with admitting your insecurities and there is also nothing wrong with being a guy who cares enough for her to protect her. So as much as the naysayers on here continue to put him down for it, he doesn’t deserve it. He’s not doing it out of his own insecurity of her with other men, but in just wanting her to be safe… And if she told him not to go, I think he would honor her wishes there as well.

  20. noirfifre May 30, 2013 at 8:06 pm #

    I definitely agree with #4.

  21. oyunyukleyici May 30, 2013 at 8:10 pm #

    women are always women

  22. laurasmess May 31, 2013 at 12:00 am #

    Found your site as a repost on someone else’s (who has started following my blog). So happy for you both! Being Australian I have never heard of either of you but… well, I’ve since found out that your fiancee is pretty darn famous, gorgeous and very down to earth looking as well :) Definitely understand each point you’ve mentioned above and why Kristen would have felt each quality to be important. All arguments aside (as above!) I am SO happy for you both. You’ve done a great thing, sharing these points. More men need to tap into the almost-lost chivalrous qualities of old. Good luck in the prep for your wedding next month. Exciting times. God bless – I know that your marriage will be strong and unshakeable with God’s strength and leadership in the mix!

    • kriswolfe May 31, 2013 at 6:51 am #

      Laura, thank you so much for that blessing, and what a privilege to get a comment from someone all the way over in Australia!

  23. mandi3117 May 31, 2013 at 12:16 am #

    awwww. Congratulations Kris! She seems like a lucky girl!

    • kriswolfe May 31, 2013 at 12:22 am #

      Thank you Mandi. We are super blessed!

  24. Freedomborn - Set Free Eternally May 31, 2013 at 2:31 pm #

    Oh well that leaves me out I’m really beautiful inside but not so great to look at outside and I even have a disability, I guess I will end up an old maid :roll:

    Of course that’s not really me, I’m 60 and Married although I do have a disability but I wonder what attracts men more, the outside or inside, would they take the time to get to know a woman if she was ugly to find her inner beauty???

    Christian Love from us both – Anne.

    • kriswolfe May 31, 2013 at 4:43 pm #

      I’m so impressed that you and Ron blog together! Kristen has been blogging for some time, and convinced me to do the same. Please check out Kristen’s blog too: kristendalton.tumblr.com. The inner beauty is the most important for me because outer beauty will always fade. This blog was just to encourage so many of my friends out there who have lost hope going after the girls of their dreams.

      • Freedomborn - Set Free Eternally May 31, 2013 at 10:31 pm #

        Hi again Kriswolfe, I think your advice is good, we also need a balance from what the world tells us and what God does. Men are to be in Leadership and woman are to be their Helpmates but this is not putting a woman down, it is a very important God given roll, we are there for you mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, to uplift, support, encourage and to share our heart focus and to be a close friend you can Trust but we need a man’s strength and to be under his Authority as under the Lord and Men are to cherish us and sacrificially put us first … How good is that!

        I will look forward to visiting Kristen’s Blog, Ron is not as passionate as I am about Blogging, he is also very busy and away a lot but he protects me from wolves and problems with Blogging that I had at first. I will ask him to read your message when he has time, I’m sure he will be blessed Hmmmm and me too! after 30 years we can both forget the little things that make a difference – Thank you.

        Christian Love from both of us – Anne.

  25. quirkybooks May 31, 2013 at 11:31 pm #

    This is awesome. She has got a gem in you, just like you have a gem in her. Congratulations.

    • vicor simon February 15, 2014 at 10:39 pm #

      i am a good guy iam from nigeian i need help i just want to come to london pls help me loving gril pls

  26. Jeff June 1, 2013 at 4:28 am #

    I would put a disclaimer that this will not work all the time nor is it for everybody

    • kriswolfe June 1, 2013 at 8:41 am #

      Maybe not now Jeff, but my hope is for a re-awakening of the gentleman.

  27. nobodysreadingme June 3, 2013 at 11:05 am #

    I’m with Jeff here. Some of this may work some of the time with some women. I think you do women a bit of a disservice by classing them all the same way. It verges on the sexist.
    And on a point of order, I never ever describe a woman as ‘Not only is she beautiful, she’s also….’ That’s not romantic in any way shape or form.

    • kriswolfe June 4, 2013 at 12:37 am #

      I appreciate your comment. I don’t think my fiance or I classify women the same way at all. This blog is about me asking her what I did to win her over. She pointed some things out which I thought would be helpful to the many good guys I know out there.

  28. Freedomborn - Set Free Eternally June 9, 2013 at 10:26 am #

    Hi Kris, I have been following your comments and your replies, it’s not something I do often anymore but I would like to add to my comments…

    If all Men cherished their woman like you do Kristen, then woman wouldn’t feel the need to take over the leadership in their relationships.

    I can see you have a deep respect of Kristen valuing her highly as a person of worth, your actions show that you are a real man of worth too, your protective, a provider, caring, considerate, patient and understanding, if you both were my Children I would be very proud of you, Kristen has a beautiful heart and so do you, both of you Shine and even Sparkle in Jesus’ Light.

    God bless you greatly, Christian Love – Anne

    .

  29. homepage July 23, 2013 at 3:11 pm #

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  30. Donovan July 24, 2013 at 1:18 pm #

    thanks for the tips man, it’s just the ones i have been looking for.

    I think the thing that most guys are missing is how to be themselves, and how to teach others to be themselves.

    Who we meet in this journey and lifetime was already predestined, but who we decide to keep, that is for us to decide.

    I have come here looking for an answer to a question i have already answered.

    Thank you

    • Kris July 24, 2013 at 7:19 pm #

      Great to hear Donovan. A confirmation is the best answer eh? Keep me updated on your journey!

  31. Kris July 25, 2013 at 8:04 pm #

    Thank you! I never considered a part 2, but now you got me thinking….

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  48. Kris Wolfe September 1, 2013 at 6:30 am #

    10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart is the flagship post. It’s about being a gentleman, and that’s what this website is really all about. Every post tries to stay consistent with the gentleman theme. Thanks for dropping by!

    • John November 7, 2013 at 8:24 pm #

      I like the gentlemen aspect, thats all well and good, but as soon as you start mentioning god and jesus and prayer, it immediately turns into a religious themed page. There should be warnings posted somewhere here.

      • Kris Wolfe November 7, 2013 at 8:52 pm #

        Thank you John for your feedback. This is not a religious site, so you are more than welcome to share your views on here. While we might differ in beliefs, I know many people who have differing beliefs. Some are my best friends and were even groomsmen in my wedding…amazing men I love.

  49. I_am_on_the_other_side_of_the_world September 19, 2013 at 2:37 am #

    Kris,

    I want to say that you have a very nice set of techniques to do to win a girl’s heart. But you know. I feel disheartened about this already. The truth is, I’m prone to messing things up. I feel like these techniques of yours and all other techniques (including the ones posted by michael) are either hard for me to do or keep. Or sometimes outright deceitful. I compare these dating techniques to a jenga puzzle. Each girl is a clean set of Jenga build. You pull the wrong tab, everything falls apart. Then it’s all over.

    I want to be true, genuine, sincere, and stuff. ’cause if it’s your soulmate you’re talking about. You wouldn’t want to mess it up. But it’s REALLY VERY HARD FOR ME. I have deep unresolved issues, anger and resentment inside. I did not come from a happy, loving background. (Just think eminem with warcold father, You’ll know what I mean) The only idea I had about love is through catholic religion, books and movies. I find succeeding in dating as trying to walk and stand on a wire tied between two skycrapers in a middle of a category 5 hurricane.

    I know I’m still good because I SINCERELY try to do what I thought was right. But come on. Reality bites. You don’t get what you wish. Worse, you end up the bad guy. I feel intimidated and discouraged when I make a mistake, or competition comes along, or when i get turned around over. I don’t know. My confidence is just too shaky. It’s not that I never tried. I tried several times. (Not necessarily the way you did) but I just get rejected. No, I’m not complaining. But I’m really getting tired and discouraged by all of this.

    I know what I’m supposed to do. Fix my own house first. Easier said than done. You see her everyday. She’s so pretty, lovely, and everything else. What’s left for you to do is cry in your private time. I guess that’s just something left for me to do. Feel like a loser and just stand your ground. Then you start to doubt yourself. Is there anything that’s good left in me to like? Maybe indeed she really is out of my league? I’m turning 30 by the way. Never had a girlfriend. Never kissed a girl. Although I felt how to love one. To try to give one. And do something about it. But at this time of my life. I don’t know. Seeing a lot of my friends and people I knew getting married and having the time of my life. Even losing one girl I liked before to some bad boy bastard. I don’t know. I don’t know if this is still for me… If not. I just wish I have the herculean strength and will power to accept that…

    Add to all my heartache in dating the multiple failures I had in my life. Sorry, i don’t mean to beg for pity for anyone. I think it just came out like that…

    Wonder what more miserable life God has still in store for me? Maybe I’ll go to Afghanistan and do something stupid. Wish there’s still someone left to attend my funeral. If there’s gonna be one…..

    • Kris Wolfe September 19, 2013 at 7:50 am #

      Is it Elson? I think this is good, and even though you probably don’t believe me, I genuinely felt the same way as you for awhile. Not just for awhile, but for years. I didn’t come from an Eminem type background, but I did have some things happen in my childhood that affected me through my life. I’m 37, and at 30, you are still young. You have plenty of time. You mentioned, “Fix my own house first.” There’s some good truth in that wisdom. I spread my fixing over 10 years, but I wish I would’ve aggressively gone after it when I was your age. Start now. Hope isn’t gone. Find a good counselor to go to, get healing, find a mentor, but go at wholeheartedly. For me, it wasn’t a one-fix solution. I threw the kitchen sink at it. Had I not gone for it, I wouldn’t have met my wife. Invest in yourself, but do it now. Time goes by too fast. There is an amazing girl waiting for you, but you have to be ready.

  50. victor bellutta October 14, 2013 at 4:13 pm #

    hi congrats to you two and will most of these work even if your 15?

    • Kris Wolfe October 14, 2013 at 5:16 pm #

      Thanks Victor…I think the principles of being a gentleman work regardless of your age, but let me know how it works!

  51. Olivia October 29, 2013 at 5:03 pm #

    If you are a christian, what exactly are you doing at clubs?

    • Kris Wolfe October 29, 2013 at 7:20 pm #

      Not much of a club-goer myself, but I write because I’m speaking into the lives of guys who do go to clubs on the weekends. While I am a believer, many of the readers on this site are not, and this is where God has called me to write.

  52. John November 7, 2013 at 8:20 pm #

    Im not trying to be offensive here people, but god or jesus have nothing to do with being a good person and treating women properly. My Wife is the greatest person I know, and she believes the same in me, and jesus had nothing to do with it. Just have good values and love one another. Its pretty simple.

  53. May November 8, 2013 at 12:44 am #

    I go to Hillsong church in Australia. Hills campus. They used one of your lists in our connect’s now the whole church is on a craze. Thank you for re-enforcing us women that this is not “setting our standards too high” and encouraging our men to be those loving romantics they want to be.

    • Kris Wolfe November 8, 2013 at 6:50 pm #

      Oh wow May. Thank you Hillsong!!! We were trying to figure out what was going on. Super humbled btw…I’m such a huge Hillsong fan.

  54. Basil November 9, 2013 at 5:45 pm #

    Hey Kris,

    just wanted to take this time to thank you. Before reading your blog i was just about to give up on searching or looking for that other half or even hoping that God had made my other half somewhere on this earth. I myself is one who you’d consider as a “nice guy” but majority of the times it tough being the nice guy..i believe you know what i mean :/ but yea..from what i’ve seen i’m real happy to see that you’ve managed to get the girl of your dreams, congrats on that by the way!! :) You’ve given me hope and i really want to thank you for this :) Your blog is truly a blessing to many keep it up yea! :) God bless.

  55. Jakey Jake November 12, 2013 at 6:24 am #

    Hey, this is terrible advice – let me offer my rationale.

    This should be how you behave AFTER you have created attraction (or to use your words “won her heart”).

    To do these things with a girl after she IS attracted/dating or in a relationship with you – great.

    To do these things right off the bat however, is IMHO an express ticket to the friendzone. This is akin to “I am a nice guy, and you will like me right? because seriously i am super nice”

    I’m not saying it doesn’t work, but there should be an awareness of the differentiation between creating attraction and maintaining a relationship.

    Most of you advice is most suited towards the latter.

    Jake

    • Kris Wolfe November 12, 2013 at 7:32 am #

      I like what you’re trying to convey Jake, and I agree with you on all of your points except “this should be how you behave AFTER you have created attraction (or to use your words “won her heart’). I don’t believe attraction is the same as winning a heart at all. Attraction is good for a one-night stand, but winning a heart is for a life-time. I thought this through very carefully before I wrote the article. I wanted to make sure I was giving the best advice possible. However, I have considered writing a piece on the attraction component in an upcoming article. This article is more apt to be titled “10 Ways to Attract Your Dream Girl.” Thank you for the idea btw!

    • sean January 29, 2014 at 6:37 pm #

      Jakey jake Jake Jakey Jake LoL you got a funny name man! I’m curious, if you know so much about these things, why take the time to degrade the work of someone else who clearly is not writing his ‘articles’ with the same intentions and perspective as you obviously!

      Anyway, if you truly want to know what gets most clueless guys in the friend zone, it’s really simple. Being too nice. Being ambiguous. Holding back and not expressing what you truly see or desire in her. Waiting and thinking that if you give her a chance to like you sooo much as a person, and finding just that RIGHT moment to break your love for her out for all to see! Trying to make her like you when she really doesn’t. Believing that just because you built up all this pent up intensity from being around her as a friend capacity will turn that intensity into her secretly wanting you as more, but just waiting on you to talk about it.

      There is a window of time, place, essence. Once you’ve crossed it and gone past it, there is NO going back. You need to show confidence from the start and make her know how you truly feel in a short period of time. That doesn’t mean blurt out you love her. That just means you let her know you are interested in more than a friendly way! Wait too long and yes you will sadly be in the friend zone and no matter how hard you wish yourself away, the only end in sight is you totally alienating her by pushing yourself and all those sexual desires on a girl who cannot and will not see you in that way….

  56. Andrew Moser November 15, 2013 at 6:08 am #

    I appreciate this insight so much right now, as I am in the process of pursuing my own dream girl. I am currently waiting on a timetable set by her father, and the process of waiting has been so beneficial to the growth of our relationship (she doesn’t know the extent of my interest yet). I am currently doing my best to apply these 10 pieces of great advice to our relationship… and I am confident they will win her heart. Thanks for the help!

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  59. Sarah November 23, 2013 at 4:26 am #

    I think this is pretty awesome of you, Kris. Very well written, indeed. I feel, however, that most men who are trying to seek out the best partner to share life with all have this image in their heads of this beautiful, physically fit/skinny woman. I can’t help but feel that most men prefer to have someone small and delicate (I believe you mentioned Kristen to appear delicate to you). These are obviously not the terms people use when referring to a woman who is much larger/curvier/heavier. I’m not dissing anyone in this at all. I guess while there are good men out there, they’re often looking for the Miss USA type, leaving us bigger girls out in the cold. I, for one, do like the look of a fit and attractive guy. But, I would never look over someone on the larger side just because they weren’t what I was necessarily looking for. I know the right guy will come along and everything will be fine and he’ll love me for me. All I wanted to say was this; those attractive, good guys out there should give the bigger, more voluptuous girl a chance, haha. :)

    • Kris Wolfe November 23, 2013 at 9:12 am #

      Yes! This is my favorite reply yet. You are so awesome Sarah, and I have no doubt you are going to find one amazing guy. I wrote “The Wife List” for guys to look beyond the stereotypical physical expectations. I realize Kristen is tiny, but I didn’t marry her for her appearance alone. I’ve dated all types, but she’s my soulmate :). just remember “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,” so the key is to find someone who’s going to last beyond the surface.

    • sean January 29, 2014 at 6:47 pm #

      Well sarah smile, since I’m sooo good at reading people in general, might as well flaunt it again :P Anyway your entire comment has a tone drenched in body image. Whether you have issues with this personally or not is well, unsaid. But I’l assume it ;) There are sooo many women out there who just cannot see themselves for who they are on the outside. They imagine themselves as being fat, overweight, disgusting in some way because they compare themselves to models or these images that are just unrealistic for them. Yet when they look in a mirror that it just twists them around on the inside!
      Oh and I’m sure if you let guys see the real you, the one that holds sooo much eternal mystique and beauty, the rest will fall into place ;)

  60. ben December 14, 2013 at 11:27 am #

    hell yeh man thats true

  61. Just stop December 18, 2013 at 2:04 am #

    A definition of benevolent sexism: “Although benevolent sexism may sound oxymoronic, this term recognizes that some forms of sexism are, for the perpetrator, subjectively benevolent, characterizing women as pure creatures who ought to be protected, supported, and adored and whose love is necessary to make a man complete. This idealization of women simultaneously implies that they are weak and best suited for conventional gender roles; being put on a pedestal is confining, yet the man who places a woman there is likely to interpret this as cherishing, rather than restricting, her (and many women may agree). Despite the greater social acceptability of benevolent sexism, our research suggests that it serves as a crucial complement to hostile sexism that helps to pacify women’s resistance to societal gender inequality.”

    http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/19/sexism-definition/#benevolent

    Thought you’d find that interesting.

    • Kris Wolfe January 21, 2014 at 7:40 am #

      Thank you “Just Stop” for your passion in this area, but this site isn’t going to be subjected to rules created by any form of radical feminism. Should women be protected? Absolutely! Should women by supported? Men should be providers. Should women be adored? Of course. These characteristics are not necessary to make a man complete, however. A man should be complete outside of a woman. A relationship is not two halves making a whole, but rather two whole people making a healthy relationship. This does not imply women are weak. Women are strong, yet different.

    • sean January 29, 2014 at 7:07 pm #

      I knew it! JustStop I knew you had that idealistic feminist in you! You kept it toned down in the first post but went full tilt ‘female empowerment’ in this one! I love it! I wish more women truly understood how poorly they are seen and treated in this male controlled/contrived society! That their equality has never been anything resembling equality. Instead of accepting their plight, that they would do something about it! Women need to empower themselves and not accept society’s gender role stereotyping, double standards, less pay, etc. I am really feeling that things will change when we get our first female president! But of course we’ve had every conceivable male president haven’t we :)? Yet you are seeing now what men truly are paranoid about, what they fear. Women holding power and status over them! That sexism is even more rampant than racism! We need to end male entitlement, it is truly a plague!!!

      Here’s the true hypocrisy though… The fact that many guys try to call themselves feminists . And act as if they buy into it all. But their motives are less than genuine. I’m not saying all guys who declare themselves this way are frauds. But I have always been different. I wouldn’t say I’m a feminist, but I definitely feel the way they do. And I have never seeked any gains from feeling this way… My reality, how I’ve lived has lent towards my beliefs and I don’t care if anyone likes me or accepts me for those beliefs! I will always fight for those beliefs and for who I hold dear! There are definite reasons why I am in the 1% of the population on things and why I have never related to certain people who I am “supposed” to hold as role models, friends, etc… But that’s my hand. I am proud of who I am, and definitely appreciate others who are proud of who they are!

      P.s. funny how Kris’s tone changed dramatically with you as soon as you even hinted at supporting feminism! Draw your own conclusions, I already have ;) Btw, if you want to talk some more JustStop, we should… Don’t know if it would be here but, if you want it I might give you my email or something././.

  62. Kelsey December 19, 2013 at 4:27 am #

    I write a leave a response whenever I like a article on a website or if I have something
    to add to the discussion. Usually it is caused by the passion
    displayed in the article I browsed. And on this article 10 Ways
    to Win a Girl’s Heart | GoodGuySwag. I was excited enough to drop a
    thought :-P I do have a couple of questions for you if you usually do not mind.
    Could it be simply me or does it look like like some of these remarks come across like left
    by brain dead people? :-P And, if you are posting on other social sites, I’d like to follow you.
    Could you make a list the complete urls of all your communal pages like your
    twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

    • Kris Wolfe December 20, 2013 at 5:45 am #

      Thanks Kelsey! I just try and welcome everyone here…and share the love. The Facebook and Twitter accounts are goodguyswagger bc goodguyswag was taken :(

  63. Wilfred January 15, 2014 at 8:34 pm #

    The way you describe your girl is just beautiful. I want someone like that. Girls in my life have been disappointing. It’s really a numbers game but in college all girls I have met just really want to party so inviting her to my stuff might seem lame to her. I think I’m just gonna do me and let whatever girl I mean to be come to me. Hopefully sooner than later. Bless you for this post.

    • Kris Wolfe March 7, 2014 at 3:16 am #

      Wilfred, always do you buddy. Just make sure there are no shields up, and fix the wounds holding you back. She’ll come…it was a lot later before I met Kristen.

  64. Brent February 2, 2014 at 4:25 am #

    Sadly most girls now go for the jerks and rude cocky guys. I do most of this already it was the way I was raised. But my ex girlfriend got to the point where she expected it to much. When we’d go on a date I always thought she was the most beautiful girl In the world but if I didn’t tell her she looked nice shed get pissed and would stop talking and when I’d say what’s wrong she would say nothing and the list goes on I broke up with her eventually because she always wanted to be mad for no reason. Now I’m single and you can’t find a girl who makes out with every boy she meets or a girl who doesn’t swear I can’t stand swearing or the girl is very full if them selfs and they all love the jerk guys. If only girls would try talking to a guy and seeing what he is like. And lots of times the best guys are shy and quiet. Girls need something like this but for girls that would be nice.

  65. Katrina February 4, 2014 at 5:14 am #

    My sisters are very persistent on making lists on what they want and praying over them- be it with qualities they want in a man or what they want in to achieve in their lives. I’ve always had an idea of what I would like and who I would like- but up until this year I’ve never fully known. I cannot tell you how clear your article made the madness in my head of what I needed in a man. I’ve done a lot of soul searching into my value as a woman these past few weeks and am realizing I’m worth so much more than I’ve been letting on the past couple of years. The list I’m going to be using is this list. This list was bang on. As a woman I want to feel loved, appreciated, respected, protected and cherished- this list is a direct and natural result of all those feelings.

    I’m all about the love that’s worth looking a little stupid over. It’s very beautiful.

    Good job Kris,

    I wish you and Kristen a wealth of continued love and happiness.

    • Kris Wolfe March 7, 2014 at 3:14 am #

      Katrina, I can’t even tell you how amazing this year is going to be for relationships. In our group of friends, 5 couples have gotten engaged and married within this past year, so hold tight and keep hope…2014 is the year of marriage or at least meeting your future spouse!

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  69. Rachel April 11, 2014 at 11:26 am #

    I 100% agree with this article. Call me old fashion, which I am only 21, but a man is there for a woman to fall on. I understand independance but once you marry that person God has set out for you, it is no longer just about you… it becomes an “US”. I want to feel safe and protected when I fall asleep in my mans arms, I want to know thay nothing in this world can harm me because he is my safe place. My boyfriend follows behind me anytime we are driving to the same place, he will go to the ends of the earth to make sure that nothing will harm me. Yes, that is protection but it is out of LOVE. He loves me so much that he is going to do everything in his power to keep me safe. Man and woman each have their own roles. The male is a provider (not saying that a woman cant provide too), the protector, and the gentleman. While a woman is to take care of her man for all he does for her, to love him, to give him what he wants and deserves! Relationships are all about giving it all you got to make sure that your significant other is as happy as they can possible be. It’s surprising them, being affectionate by just letting the world know that he is mine… hold hands…make everyone jelous because they want want you have. It’s about sacrificing and compromising. It’s about laying down in bed at night and not being able to fall asleep because you can’t believe that all you’ve ever wanted is right next to you. I know that when I am in my mans arm, absolutly NOTHING can harm me. So whoever this “just stop” person is… I pray to God that one day you will get to experience a love like I have. That whoever he may be, he will completley blow you away and change your outlook on what love really is. Because let me tell ya… YOU ARE MISSING OUT. :)

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