Perhaps you’ve used the classic break-up line ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ and meant it.
It was you, but what was it with you? Maybe you weren’t ready or maybe you said the wrong things or maybe you gave up after the first fight. Whatever it is, we can learn from other’s mistakes.
Here are 10 pieces of relationship advice from a a guy who knows why it was him and not her.
1. Know yourself to know when you are ready
Before you can be in a relationship you need to start with yourself and know yourself.
Being in a relationship when you don’t know yourself is like trying to dress a baby before it is even born. It doesn’t work.
You don’t want to introduce yourself to a girl and not know who you are introducing, do you?
And when you know yourself and like yourself, you will know when you’re ready.
If you are interested in or are dating a girl and communicate mostly through texting, you’re doing it all wrong. Texting at the right time and place can be great, but when overused can hurt your relationship. Instead of using your phone to text her, use it to speak to her.
Call her up, listen to her voice, and have a conversation with her.
Don’t pick her up and then put her down, and please don’t limit her to 160 characters.
3. Slow down
She’s beautiful. She’s smart. She’s funny. She even likes your favorite sports team and can quote Dumb & Dumber.
She is the girl of your dreams and now you’re telling yourself she is the one.
Ask her out, get to know her, remain patient.
She may be the one, but remember, she doesn’t become the one until you said “I do.”
4. Admit, Apologize, & Ask
You are going to make a mistake and when you do man up!
Admit you were wrong.
Apologize for the wrong you did.
Ask her for forgiveness.
5. You don’t have to, you get to.
You don’t have to date her, you get to.
It is nothing short of an honor that you get to be with her.
Commit to sacrifice and embrace it.
6. She isn’t ____ (insert another girls name here).
No she isn’t.
Stop comparing her to the girl you used to date or to other girls.
She is who she is and cannot be anyone else!
She can only be herself and that is a beautiful thing.
7. Seek Advice
You are going to have questions and it is important to ask them. Ask someone you trust and has successful relationship experience for guidance. Seek advice from those more wise who can help you think more clearly and challenge you to be more mature in your relationship.
8. Relationships aren’t a fairytale
Relationships don’t always play out like Pam and Jim or Jasmine and Aladdin.
There aren’t always candle light dinners and there is hardly ever a magic carpet ride to show her the world.
In your relationship you will fight, disagree, doubt, and struggle.
You will want to give-up and break-up, but one little bump doesn’t mean it’s time to call it quits.
Those bumps will strengthen your relationship, growing you two together to face what is next.
9. Date with the intent to marry
Why do you want to be in a relationship?
Because all of your friends are getting married or because you’re tired of watching Netflix alone isn’t considered a good reason.
Date because you know you have love to offer and can’t help but share it.
Date because you are ready and are willing to make sacrifices.
Date with the intent to marry.
10. Pray. And don’t stop.
There is a good chance you prayed, asking God to send you someone, and that’s great…
But don’t stop praying once you’ve met someone!
Pray for her and pray with her.
Continue to keep God the focus and foundation of your relationship.